Wednesday, November 6, 2013

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Hey y'all!

Well, it seems I can only get around to blogging about once a month now-a-days.  Oh well, at least I still keep it somewhat recent…. :)

By the time I get around to even thinking about writing, all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch ridiculous trashy TV or go straight to bed!  This new time change has me crawling into bed at about 8:30 every night and not feeling bad about that at all!  haha  Max did surprisingly well with the time change this year.  He actually slept the extra hour and woke up at his normal 6 a.m.  So, not too shabby.  I, however, was up at 5 since I'm so programmed now and laid there for an hour waiting on Max to wake up.  But, hey, I'll take it!  I rarely get to just lay in bed.

As you may have seen from my Facebook posts, Max has become quite the handful in the last week or so.  Shit really hit the fan when I had to attend a Halloween event put on by our squadron's Family Readiness Group (of which I'm the president!).  Of course, since Christian's gone, Max went with me and I had to chase him around the entire time and ultimately wasn't able to participate in the event at all.  That pissed me off and made me feel bad.  He was running away from me all of the hangar and towards the flight line (which he's NOT allowed on b/c of security).  Anytime I'd catch up to him to redirect him back over to the fun of the event, he'd pitch a royal fit and throw himself on the floor.  That happened close to 20 times.  So, I left an hour and half into the event and was just OVER IT!  And, that behavior has continued.  I know it's just a phase.  I get that.  But, that doesn't make it any easier when you are knee deep in said phase.  Same with having a newborn.  Like everyone says, "it gets easier", "it gets better"… of course it does.  But, I just need someone to say "this blows" along with me while I struggle to avoid child services being called on me.  hahaha

These "phases" of infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, teenage years, etc…. they all suck.  They all make you want to scream and they make you feel like you're a horrible mother who has no idea what you're doing.  When my sweet little Max switched into this little jerk, I wondered "what the heck did I do to make him like this?".  Have I given him too much free reign in the past because I thought that was the best way for him to learn and now he's taking it too far?  Am I just totally inept as a disciplinarian since NOTHING I do even phases him.  If I slap his hand, he slaps his other hand himself.  If I put him in timeout, he cries and cries and then the next time I threaten timeout, he casually walks to his timeout chair and sits there like it's no big deal.  What?!  Insanity.  That's what it is…. pure insanity.  I'll eventually figure it out.

But then, today, I feel like my Max is back.  Even though he was at Ms. Dorie's (an awesome woman who watches him on Wednesdays) most of the day, I didn't deal with a single tantrum!  Hallelujah!  We even went to the park and did several other things that would usually warrant him to freak the eff out but nope, not today.  He was compliant.  I know everything will probably switch again tomorrow or the next day.  But, I'm going to revel in the beauty of my amazing kid right now.  He is amazing.  Motherhood is amazing.  It's the hardest job I've ever had and I love it.  I would never want to be anything else more than being a mom.  It's such a HUGE job.  I mean, seriously, I'm responsible for molding a HUMAN BEING into the person he will ultimately be.  That's mind-blowing.  Seriously, a mother is the ultimate of all things on earth.  I'm not tooting my own horn or anything but it really is.  There is nothing as important in this world.  Sorry if I offend someone who believes passionately in their profession but I don't know that anyone could understand my stance unless they are a mother.  The patience it takes, the love it takes, the thought and compassion it takes… pure magic.

And, let me tell you something else that is pure magic.  The women in my neighborhood, our squadron and this military community who do all of this alone usually with no family within driving distance.  Their husbands are away serving this country and they're here to provide for their children, entertain them when it's raining on a Saturday, feed the pickiest eater, bathe the dirtiest fingers and toes, transport three kids to one's soccer game, rock the baby for hours at night b/c that the only way he'll sleep, kiss the tiny cheeks in the mornings, give big hugs after big falls, be the mom, be the dad, be the compassionate one, be the disciplinarian, teach the boys to pee standing up as best she can, help with the homework, comfort the sick, and the list goes on and on.  This is a group, a community, a family that I am proud to be a part of.  Christian has been gone at least 50% of the last three years.  It's not easy.  It's not fun.  There's nothing glamorous about it.  But, it's pretty amazing to know that I'm strong enough for this.  And to be surrounded by other women who are just as strong (and many are MUCH stronger) is so, so special.  I never in a million years could have imagined that I would love living on a military base and really being ingrained in the military lifestyle.  But, here I am and it's pretty awesome.

We have two and half more weeks before Christian gets home from the Middle East.  As soon as he gets back, we're flying straight down to Pensacola and I can't wait!  I'm so excited for Thanksgiving with the family and for Max to play with cousins and friends!  I'm excited to walk on the beach and to go to some of our favorite restaurants.  Three and half more years before we're back for good!  Retirement can't come soon enough!  :)

Anyway, I hope all of y'all have a wonderful week and hopefully you have a long holiday weekend coming up (Veteran's Day).

xoxo,

Chrissi













Wednesday, October 2, 2013

It's Fall Y'all.

Hey y'all!

Gosh, it's been a month and a half since I've written a post.  I know so many of you were waiting anxiously for my next post!  ;-)

Well, first thing, I'll update y'all on the medical stuff that I just kind of left hanging in my last post.  So, after pathology reports came back, it was determined that I did, in fact, have a partial molar pregnancy.  Basically, the science of that is that two sperm fertilized one egg and caused a big genetic hot mess.  It caused benign tumors to grow all over the placenta which eventually killed the baby.  So, I've been having weekly blood work to monitor my hormone levels to make sure all of that tissue was gone after the D&C and that it stays gone.  So, FINALLY, last week, my levels were a three which essentially means zero (anything less than a five = zero according to my doc).  So, here's hoping that it stays that low and doesn't rise back up.  If it did go back up, that would mean the cells have duplicated and the tissue is returning.  So, here's hoping.  Now that we're at a zero, we will wait another six months before getting pregnant just to make sure none of the tissue comes back.  It's such a long process and kind of a pain in the ass (and the arm with the bloodwork).  But, hopefully all is normal now and we won't have anymore issues.  So, that's that.

Now, on to more pleasant things.  We're getting into the Fall spirit up here in NJ.  Our weather has been just divine lately and it's actually a little warm this week.  But, my pumpkins are out and our columns are graced with dried corn stalks.  Mums are planted and the leaves are a beautiful orange and maroon all over the neighborhood.  Everything it great.  We're still LOVING our new home and neighborhood.  It's been so wonderful.  We basically live out in the farm lands.  We're about 30 minutes from "town" and rely heavily on the resources we have on base- like the commissary and exchange.  It's just tough to take a trip 30 minutes away and still maintain a decent nap schedule for Max.  But, it all works just fine.  Until our stupid government decided to shut down and now I HAVE to drive 30 minutes to a decent grocery store.  Blah.  But, that's about the extent of the affect this whole shutdown has had on us so we're pretty lucky.  We still get paid, my husband still goes to work, the planes still fly, and our housing still gets paid.  So, I can't complain.  It's just a shame that our government just sucks.  Seriously, it sucks.  And, both sides equally suck.  Suck, suck, suck.

Anyway, Max is still the coolest kid on earth (yes, I'm partial) and we've been having a lot of fun lately.  We've been riding bikes (hopefully you've seen the FB pics of his new bike... adorable), riding four-wheelers (both big and small), apple picking (41 lbs... what?!), tried a gymnastics class (never again... but at least it was free), and just hanging out.  He's a mess and a huge handful but so much fun.

My mom comes in town next week and I CAN'T WAIT!!!  I'm soooo excited.  She and I are going to take a mother/daughter day trip to NYC so she can see the city for the first time!  Woohoo!  I can't wait for her to see Max and watch him climb all over the play ground, ride his four-wheeler all the way around the block, how he gets a wild hair after bath time each night and how freakin' hilarious he is.  Have I mentioned how excited I am?!  I miss my momma!

Well, Max will be up from his nap any minute now so I better run.  Y'all have a great day!

xoxo,

Chrissi

Monday, August 19, 2013

I've found my silver lining.

First thing's first, I went to the doc for my post-op this morning and everything looks good with the pathology.  Initial reports suggest that it was a "missed abortion" (basically, a delayed or silent miscarriage) rather than a molar pregnancy.  But, I have to call back in about to week to get final results.  So, that's good news right now!

Anyway, I've always been the type to think "everything happens for a reason".  I truly believe this and have always tried to look for the reasons whether I blindly make them up to make myself feel better or if a reason blatantly reveals itself weeks, months or years later.  So, with this whole miscarriage thing, I knew there had to be a reason and maybe we would figure it out eventually.  But, within the last two weeks, I've found my silver lining of this dark cloud.  I feel normal again.  Back to Chrissi.  I honestly haven't felt this good about life, myself, my marriage, my husband, my future, etc since before Max was born.  I'm not sure if this shift was just coincidental or if it was really scientific/hormonal.  I asked my doc about it this morning and came close to balling my eyes out in pure joy that I feel back to my old self.  It's such a relief.  As many of you know, I had a tough time emotionally after Max was born but I never crossed that "Brooke Shields Line" as my doctor calls it.  So, I just kind of accepted that having a young child is hard and it weighs on you and your life kind of comes to a standstill for a couple years.  Then, I got pregnant and figured this is just how it was going to be for a couple MORE years.  Ugh.  So, I'm going to be totally honest and say that I wasn't 100 percent excited to be pregnant again.  Yes, we were trying and yes, we always wanted our kids two years apart.  But, damn, this shit is hard.  So, when the miscarriage happened, it was (I'm cringing as I type this) kind of a relief.  Then, when I had my procedure after the miscarriage and my hormones went back to normal, I thought, "oh my God, my life is back".  I actually feel like wearing something a little sexier than yoga pants every day now and not having my hair in a pony tail all the time.  I'm putting on pretty bras that I haven't worn since Max was born.  I actually feel like laying with my husband on the couch without worrying that I'm going to have to turn any of his advances down ONE MORE TIME, which is definitely not like the "old me".  (sorry Mom and Dad that you have to read that haha).  I'M BACK BABY!!!!!!!  And, I know Christian has to be so relieved to no longer be living with a bitch who is constantly annoyed with him.  Let's just hope this sticks.  haha

So anyway, I asked my doctor about this today.  I said, look, my son is 18 months and I'm just now starting to feel like a normal person and I feel like over all, all is right in my world.  Is this kind of standard or was I just effed up?  haha  He said it could have definitely been that this miscarriage kind of threw my body for a loop and then kind of knocked everything back into normal range.  Or, it could just be a coincidence.  He said a lot of women have issues during the first year after having a baby and sometimes it just lasts longer.  He told me to revel in this feeling and take advantage of it.  I told him that this newfound glory kind of makes me scared to get pregnant again because I don't want to go back to that emotional place.  So, he suggested maybe take six months off from thinking about expanding our family.  I'm down with that.  Christian and I have talked about when we think we might be ready again and it's kind of a que sera sera thing.  So, we'll see what happens, how things go, etc.  But, for now, I'm taking this and running with it.  Max is at such a cool age and is such an awesome kid.  He's great for any babysitter and plays so well.  That being said, I'm going to try and use sitters more often so I can get out and do things on my own and Christian and I can have more dates (once he gets back in the States next month).

I wanted to share this information.  I know some of you may think I'm bat-shit crazy for being such an open book but I think honesty is the best quality when it comes to being a mom.  It's so politically correct to say that everything is great and that being a mom is the most amazing thing in the world.  And, with Facebook, every new mom is always in pure bliss, right?  Frankly, I want to slap everyone of those new moms who post nothing but amazing stuff because all it is is FALSE ADVERTISEMENT.  In reality, it's hard, really hard.  It changes your life.  It humbles you and makes you realize that you are no longer the most important thing in your life.  But, you also have to remember that you are important.  Take care of yourself.  Do things for yourself.  If you feel like shit all the time, do something about it (medically, naturally or in whatever way you feel necessary).  I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say "go hire a sitter/family member to keep the baby/kid for x amount of time each week" because I'm JUST NOW getting comfortable with someone other than my husband or mom watching Max.  So, I can't offer that advice since I've never taken it myself.  But, I will admit, once you are comfortable with it, it's quite amazing.  ;-)

So, now I'm going to go sit down and have a nice, quiet lunch all by myself since Max is napping.  Otherwise, I'd be scarfing down a microwaved leftover piece of pizza while begging a defiant toddler to take "two more bites" of his lunch.  Enjoy your day!  And, hang in there, mommas.

Chrissi

Monday, August 5, 2013

Back to Life

Hey y'all,

Just wanted to send an update on all that has been going on.  I had my D&E on Friday and all went well.  I felt fine that evening and was told to resume pretty much regular activity the next day.  So, I did!  We've had amazing weather this weekend so we've spent a lot of time outside and with friends.  Christian and I got each other bikes for Mother's Day and Father's Day and finally got around to picking them out and buying them this weekend.  We got Max a seat for the back of my bike and he loves it!  So, we've been doing a lot of riding, too!

Anyway, everything with my procedure went well and we should know the pathology results this week to determine if it was, in fact, a molar pregnancy.  If it was, then I'll have to just have my hormones monitored for the next 6 months or so to make sure none of that tissue grows back.  I'll go back to the doc in about two weeks for my post-op and get a plan of action then.  Everything should be fine.

Emotionally, we're doing really well.  I feel a little strange for having almost no emotional reaction to this (other than the moment I found out) but I just feel like it's something that was meant to happen and it's nothing I can change.  So, why worry?  I think if this would have been our first pregnancy, I would have been absolutely devastated.  So hard.  But, I'm utterly in love with my Max and he keeps me busy and on my toes so I have plenty to keep me busy right now.  Christian is doing well too.  I think we both have the same attitude towards this.  I keep asking him if he's really OK and I'm pretty certain that he is.  :)  So, it's just one of those things.  I think we're going to wait a few months to try again (whether we medically have to or not).  We're just going to take this time and focus on our family of three.  We have a big trip to Europe next month, a trip to New Hampshire in October and then the holidays right around the corner.  So, we'll be busy.  :)

Christian's detachment starts next Monday so that's kind of a bummer.  But, I'm hoping my mom comes up one weekend to keep me company!  Almost all of my girlfriends up here are also going to be husband-less because their hubs are all leaving on the same trip too!  So, I'll be in good company.  We already all have a moms' night out planned and we actually all got babysitters!  Yay!  haha

Anyway, just wanted to send an update and let y'all know that we're a-ok.  We have more gorgeous weather (sunny with a high of 79!) today so Max and I will be hanging outside.

xoxo,

Chrissi

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

another dose of big news... only, this time, it's not so great.

Well, today I went for my first trimester screening where they check for any genetic defects in the baby like Down Syndrome, etc.  Unfortunately, at 13 weeks, we no longer have a heartbeat.  The doctor talked to me after the ultrasound and explained that he thinks I have what they call a "partial molar pregnancy".  Basically, there was an genetic issue with the fertilization process and if the baby would have survived pregnancy, there would have been severe defects.  So, sometimes these things happen and while it may not make sense as to "why us", it's just part of the plan.

It sucks.  I was by myself at the appointment and that was hard.  Christian was home with Max so he wasn't with me.  I knew something was going on when I didn't hear a heartbeat while she was doing the ultrasound and the baby didn't move at all.  I even asked the tech if there was a heartbeat when she was walking out of the room and she said "I'll have to look at all of the pictures".  Well, I'm no dummy and I know you can tell if there's a heartbeat while you're on the machine.  But, I know she's just the tech and probably can't tell me that kind of thing.  So, she came back and said the doc wanted to talk to me.  So, I spoke with him and he showed me all of the pictures and explained the molar pregnancy and that even if the baby had a heartbeat, the pregnancy would need to be terminated.  So, in a way, I'm thankful that, since there is no heartbeat, I don't have to make the decision to terminate my pregnancy.  That's a relief.

So, now I'm waiting to hear from my doctor to see what the next steps are.  Since I'm so far along, I'll have to have a D&C to clean out my uterus.  The little research that Christian and I have done says that you shouldn't get pregnant for another 6-12 months so that's a pretty big bummer.  I guess we won't definitely know if this is actually a molar pregnancy until the docs test my placenta after the D&C.  But, it's all we have right now.

I hate that we JUST told everyone and now we have to give the bad news.  I hate that I had just really started to get excited about this and not really scared.  I hate that the two-year age gap that we always wanted is no longer going to happen.  But, everything happens for a reason, right?  Christian and I are ok.  We still have a zillion questions for my doctors and really just wonder "why?".  I can't imagine having a baby with severe defects so in that sense, I know this was all part of God's plan.  We'll be fine and Max will make an awesome big brother when the right time comes.  For now, I'm just going to love on my little man like crazy and be thankful that I have his happy, healthy face to come home to.

Anyway, I just wanted to do a blanket memo because, frankly, I don't want to get to that awkward conversation where someone asks me how the pregnancy is going and I have to say that I've had a miscarriage.  No fun, right.

So, y'all have a good day.  I'll fill you in more once we hear back from the doctors.

xoxo,

Chrissi

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Big news!

Hey y'all!

I hope everyone is doing well!  We're finally in our house and actually settled in pretty well.  We are loving our house and neighborhood and neighbors.  Everything is great!  The only thing that's hard to get used to is the fact that we're at least 20-30 minutes from anything (besides the commissary on base). So, that's not super fun but hey, it saves money, right?  No more daily random trips to Target for nothing in particular and leaving with over $50 worth of stuff.  haha  But, all-in-all, we're loving it and so is Max.  There are tons of kids in the neighborhood who are always outside so that's awesome.

The weather has been so nice up here the past few days.  On Thursday, the high was about 68 and it was amazing!!!  It was about 82-85 yesterday and today so it's been great.  Windows open in the morning and evening just make life so enjoyable!  :)

Christian has been home for a while now and doesn't have any trips planned until he leaves for det on August 12th.  So, that's been great.  It will be a little adjustment when he leaves since, like I said, we're so far from everything.  But, we'll make it work and go to the playground a lot!  I'm hoping to get a bike with a seat for Max before Christian leaves so we can go for long bike rides to kill time and get outside.

I'm going to NYC next Saturday with two of my girlfriends for one of their birthdays!  We're staying the night so this will be the first time I've ever been away from Max overnight and I'm having a little (actually a lot) anxiety about it.  I know he'll be 100 percent fine with Christian but I'm going to miss him SOOOOO much!  :(  But, NYC will be fun.

Well, anyway, let me get to the point of my post!  :)  I think everyone who actually gets this blog emailed to them already knows but I figured I'd make it "internet official".  :)  Soooooo.... Christian and I are expecting baby number two!  Due date is Feb. 6th and we're super excited!  The kids will be almost exactly two years apart and that's what we've always wanted so it's great.  To tell you the truth, I'm also pretty terrified.  I know how hard the first few months of a baby's life are and I can only imagine how much more complex it will be to add a toddler into that newborn crazy mix.  But, we'll make it.  haha  I'm so excited to see Max as a big brother.  I already ask him "where's momma's baby?" and he'll point to my belly.  :)  He's so smart and so funny.  I can't imagine loving anything/anyone more than that little boy but I hear your heart just grows to fit that extra love in.  That's pretty amazing.  When I first found out I was pregnant, even though we were trying for number 2, I cried a lot about Max no longer being my only baby and how he was going to handle it, etc, etc.  I still worry that I won't get much alone time with my little man once baby comes but I'm sure it will all even out.  If anyone has any support or encouragement in that respect, I'd love to hear it!

I've chosen a new OB up here and decided to deliver at a different hospital from where Max was born.  I'm delivering at a hospital that has the Baby Friendly designation from the World Health Organization and UNICEF.  It's basically more focused on natural mother/baby bonding and extremely breastfeeding friendly.  So, I'm excited to see how different the experience will be.  I've heard it's night and day difference so it will be interesting!  A friend of mine who lives around here is due with her second soon and she has also chosen to deliver at a Baby Friendly hospital so I'll hear all about her experience soon!  :)

So, that's our news!  It's been a crazy few months for us, to say the least!  But, what else would anyone expect from the Jenkins family, right?!  haha  But, we're extremely happy to be settled in a great house with plenty of room (and central AC!).  :)

Anyway, y'all have a great week coming up!  Talk soon,

Chrissi  :)


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

just an old vagabond these days....

Well, we're still (im)patiently waiting to move into our house.  I talked to the housing office yesterday morning and our leasing agent told me that the house was going into turnover maintenance yesterday.  So, we're supposed to get an official move-in date today.  I'm thinking it will be within the week.  If not, I may lose my mind.  :)  But, I will say, the temporary lodging facility that we're in is very nice.  It's a two bedroom apartment that's fully furnished and has a full kitchen.  So, life isn't too bad.

I drove by our house last week and I love it and our neighborhood!  We're actually right off base in the largest base housing neighborhood.  It has playgrounds on just about every corner, a community pool, and large open space for picnics and festivals.  There's also a great farmers' market every Thursday this summer and fall in one of those big open spaces.  It's going to be great.  I just can't wait!

I'm working on finding a new babysitter for Max.  One thing I'm going to check out this Friday is a fellow military wife who is a licensed and insured in-home childcare provider sponsored by the base.  She has to have her house inspected once a month and serve certain kinds of foods.  It's also limited to six children at a time.  She lives in the neighborhood we're moving into.  I'm on the fence about this but I'm going to go check it out and meet her to see what it's all about.  It would just be for random appointments that I have when I can't take Max and Christian isn't home.  But, I still need to find another babysitter for date-nights and stuff like that.  So, I'm on the search.

Also, we're planning on starting Max in pre-school this fall for two mornings a week.  I toured the school earlier this year and it's great.  I know Max would love it and I think he'd learn a lot.  It's called The Goddard School.  They're nationally recognized and very structured.  So, I just have to figure out the best time for him to start.  We're planning on going to Europe again this fall so I may just wait until after we get back since we'll most likely be gone for a couple of weeks.

Well, that's about all I have for now.  I'll post again once we get in our house and include some pics!

xoxo,

Chrissi


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Let's all get a little real for a second...

Alright y'all... there have been a few things in the news lately that have sparked some controversial fires amongst certain "groups".  First, there was the Paula Deen "scandal" and then today, the rulings on Proposition 8 in California and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).  Let's start with the first hooplah.

The first thing I heard about Paula Deen was that she was dropped by the Food Network.  I hadn't heard anything about her court situation, the trial, her admissions, etc before the Food Network dropped her.  Wait... take that back.  The actual first thing I heard was that she missed her interview on the Today Show.  Then, I did a little more searching and slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together regarding this story.  Pieces are still falling into place about this story today.  My OPINION (we all have them), frankly, is that it's all a bunch of bullshit (pardon the language).  Here are a couple pieces of the story (in black) and what I think (in blue):

So, she and her brother are being sued by a former employee for sexual harassment and racial discrimination.  She was asked in the deposition if the had "ever used the n-word".  She honestly replied "yes, of course.  It's been a very long time".  I'm sure about 95 percent of southern people from her same age group would answer that question the same way.  The woman suing also stated that Paula Deen never exhibited any signs of being a racists (so I'm not sure where the claims of racial discrimination come from).  The media is bringing up all kinds of other crap that just puts people against one another to create more and more drama.  For instance, why bring up that Paula Deen once discussed having a plantation-style wedding where black people would be dressed in period outfits and be serving food a drinks.  She discussed but didn't do it.  And, frankly, I'm sure plenty of people would have gladly accepted the job and not bitched about it being racist.  I'm sick of our media doing this.  They do it enough during election season and they are the number one cause of racism, political hate and any other modern segregation these days.  It's disgusting.  Then, this morning, Matt Lauer (a freakin' shark) referenced another quote from Paula during the deposition which says, basically, that she couldn't determine what offends other people.  Initially, when I heard that, I kind of cringed.  I thought "oh crap, Paula.  Why would you go and say something stupid like that?  We all know what is offensive".  But, she quickly explained what she meant by that.  She went on to say that some of her employees and young people in general throw that word around describing each other all the time.  When you hear it that much, obviously it makes you wonder why it's fine for blacks to say it all the time (and let's not even get into the difference in "nigger" and "nigga"... ridiculous) but if a white person is honest about saying it decades ago, her world can come crumbling down.)

These are a few of the things that just erk me about this story.  Obviously, I don't know Paula Deen on a personal level.  But, I know a HELL OF A LOT of women who are SO MUCH like her and those women don't have a racist bone in their body.  People in the South have a history.  And, really, we aren't too far removed from that history.  People alive and well today remember the past vividly and were immersed in the civil rights movement.  It wasn't even a lifetime ago, y'all. 

And, here's a little food for thought if you are reeling on the last point I made about the Paula Deen thing (blacks calling each other nigger).  Do you EVER, ever in your life, hear a Mexican calling another Mexican a "wetback", a Jewish person calling another Jewish person a "kike", an Arabic person calling another Arabic person a "towel head"?  My point is, if we all know these words are offensive, take them out of your mouth, no matter who you are.  Just. Stop. It.  Don't tell me that it's OK for you to use the most offensive word that you know of to describe your buddy.  That's just bullshit.  Racism is racism.  Stop even making anyone question what is or isn't offensive. 

OK, off my soapbox about that one. 

Now, moving on.  HOOOORAY for equality today!  I am a full supporter of equal marriage rights to all.  I see absolutely zero reason to not support it... ze-ro.  I understand it's a big religious thing and frankly, I'm not very religious so maybe that's why I don't understand a traditional Christian view on this.  I was raised in a pretty conservative family and I'm going to venture to say that the majority of my family does not agree with me on this.  But, to each her own.  What I really love about today's rulings is the true separation of Church and State. 

My favorite blogger-turned-author, Glennon Melton (author of Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed and the blog Momastery www.momastery.com), has a beautiful piece in her book about being an open-minded Christian and getting to the point where she felt OK with only supporting certain parts of the Bible and taking others with a small grain of salt.  This has helped me understand religion a little more and be a little more open to the idea of Christianity because growing up around a Southern Baptist community, my views didn't align and, therefore, I've always felt I didn't align.  But, as I approach my fourth decade of life, I'm slowly getting that it's OK.  Nothing is black and white when it comes to love.  And that's what religion really is all about, right?  To love one another as God loves you?  Done and done. 

Here's a link to an amazing post by Glennon today.  Read it, folks:
http://momastery.com/blog/2013/06/24/i-love-gay-people-and-i-love-christians-i-choose-all/

Enjoy your day, y'all.

xoxo,

Chrissi















Sunday, June 2, 2013

Hey y'all! (from Florida)

Hey everybody!

We're well into our little vacation in Pensacola and we are loving it!  The trip down was pretty easy and Max did great!  It took him a little while to get settled on a decent sleep schedule but now I think we're back to normal.  So, that's great!  We've been having so much fun and I know I'm going to HATE to leave.  But, hopefully we'll be given a house soon so we have something fun to go back to.  Otherwise, it's really going to suck knowing that we're leaving Florida to go back to temporary housing on base in NJ.  Ugh!  So, say a little prayer that we get a house before we go home.

Anyway, like I said, it's been a great trip so far.  Christian was only here for about four days but we tried to make the most of his time here.  We visited family and ate at some good restaurants.  He left on the 19th.  Max and I moved into our little vacation rental on the 25th and it's been nice to have a place of our own.  It's super convenient and we're able to run errands without having a 30 minute drive like we would if we were staying with my parents.  So, this has been great.  We're here until June 26th and hopefully Christian will be back down here by then!

We've been taking advantage of all the fun stuff to do around here like the splash pad downtown, the beach a couple times, swimming at Roger Scott pool and of course spending tons of time with family.  Family makes like so much easier.  Yesterday, I drove over to my brother's place (he lives over on 30a in Santa Rosa Beach) and we went for an awesome bike ride through some of the beach towns down there.  That is seriously one of the most beautiful places on earth down there.  If you've never been, GO, like now... just go.  It's 19 miles of gorgeous-ness.  :)  We biked about 20 miles and it was a gorgeous day.  Then, by the time I got back home yesterday afternoon, I was exhausted so as soon as Max went to bed, my butt was in bed!  haha

Oh, something else that is super great is a decision that Christian and I have made (well, technically, that christian finally agreed to) is that we're moving back to Pensacola when he retires in four years!  Y'all have absolutely NO IDEA how friggin' happy this makes me.  There's a light at the end of the tunnel!  I'm so excited.  We're looking at land now to hold onto and then hopefully build on when we move back.  He'll retire and then most likely fly for an airline (or one of the zillion other options he has) out of here.  Super!  So, like i said, light at the end of the tunnel!  Four years will fly by and it will be perfect timing for Max to start kindergarten right when we move down here.  Happy, happy, happy!

Well, that's about it for now!  Y'all have a wonderful Sunday!

xoxo,

Chrissi

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Movin' on


Well, folks, the move is over.  We have completed move number three in just over three years.  We’re going to be pros at this by the time we’re finished with the Navy!  All of our belongings are now piled into a storage unit as we travel the world (Max and me in Florida, Christian in Japan) and await the word that we have been granted a house on base.  The move actually went pretty smoothly considering we have a crazy little man on our hands and minimal help.  But, our great friends, Vicki & Matt, graciously helped us yesterday and we are SO thankful for them!  This would have been HELL if they weren’t there!  

Leaving this house was really emotional even though we’re excited about moving.  It’s all just bittersweet (as so many things are with military life).  We’re definitely ready for a NEW house without creaky floors and central AC but there are some major emotional ties to this house we just left.  A lot has happened in that house.  We found out we were expecting our first child and brought that precious angel home from the hospital to that house.  He said his first words and took his first steps within those walls.  We had the best neighbors we could ask for and will miss the easy walks into town for breakfast, lunch, dinner or just coffee.  I’ll always miss the fantastic character of that house.  It was built in 1926 and still had the original hardwood floors and all the original molding.  It was beautiful.  But, not very energy efficient... and the kitchen sucked.  haha.  The peony, hydrangea and lilac bushes in the back yard were things of pure beauty.  I will miss them.  We cried, laughed, yelled, and loved in the house.  But, this is all part of what we call life.  We’re moving on to things that will work better for our family.  Living on base will not only give us a big new house, it will give me a great support network that I didn’t have much of when we lived so far from base.  Living on base will also give me a major sense of security which no alarm system can buy.  So, for that, I’m excited.  Living on base will certainly be a new and interesting experience but I’m excited to dive into it and take it on as an adventure.  Plus, Christian will be home within about five minutes of when he leaves the squadron.... much better than 45 minutes!  

Now that we’re technically homeless, we’re shacking up with my father-in-law for a couple days and we’ll head out on our long drive to Florida on Tuesday morning and make it into town late Tuesday night.  I CANNOT WAIT to be in Pensacola.  I’m so excited for everyone to see Max and for him to hang with his grandparents (from my side) for over a month!  And, you better believe I’ll be taking advantage of those grandparents (aka, free babysitters....).  haha  I’m sure they won’t mind.  ;-)  I’m so ready to be able to just drive over to my mom’s or dad’s on a random afternoon just to say hi (I really miss my parents) or to spend time with my girlfriends at my favorite restaurants (I really miss my girlfriends too).  AND, to LAY ON THE BEACH!  Holy Moses, I’ve never been this pale in my life.  Gross.  I can’t wait.  

Well, anyway.  Today was Mother’s Day and I hope all you mommas had a fabulous day!  I had a great day and Max was extra loving today.  I got a massive amount of hugs from that littler lover.  I think he knew it was momma’s special day.  We went to church this morning (the only church Christian and I go to) and didn’t even have to take Max out of the sanctuary a single time!  That was impressive!  Then, we got back home and he took a nice long nap since he didn’t really get in bed until close to eleven o’clock last night since we got here so late.  After his nap, we went to Christian’s cousin’s house for a family get-together.  Oh, and it snowed.  Yep, that’s right folks... it’s the middle of May and it was snowing today.  Not hard and nothing stuck but there were definitely snow flakes falling from the sky.  I guess that’s what western Maryland mountain living will get ya.  No.  Thank.  You.  Have I mentioned that I’m ready to be in Florida?  :-)

Alright, I’m going to relax and read before hittin’ the hay!  Talk soon.

xoxo, 

Chrissi

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Waging Mommy War

**Disclaimer for this blog: what I write about today consists of things and decisions that work for me and my family.  I fully understand that the decisions I have made do not work for every family.  This is a no judgement zone so please read  with guards down. **

As you all probably know by now, I am very pro-breastfeeding.  Max is almost 14 months old and is still nursing.  I'm no longer nursing him on-demand- stopped that around 12 1/2 months- but we still nurse first thing in the morning and for bedtime.  It's a super special time and the bonding experience is something that can't be matched.  Before I was a mom and for the first several months of Max's life, I thought nursing a toddler was a bit strange.  But, low and behold, it works for us and it's something I'm not ready to give up.  So, with that bit of information about our current lifestyle, I'll tell you this: I am a "member" of a well known breastfeeding website's Facebook private group where you can go on and ask questions about breastfeeding and get amazing support from other nursing moms around the country.  So, lately, I've been wondering a lot about real benefits of extended breastfeeding and how it really impacts a child's health and social wellbeing.  Thus, i logged onto that group's site today and asked the following question: "Is there any research or do any of you think that breastfed kids (breastfed past one year) are sweeter/more kind/friendlier/better behaved (you choose the word) than those who are not?".  Honestly, I thought this was a very valid question and I've been wondering this for a while just because it's such a loving act.  Well, the admins on the site shut down my thread about 10 minutes after I posted it and claimed that my question could start a firestorm among other members who choose formula (keep in mind this is a breastfeeding support group).  I don't know why but this REALLY bothered me.  I try SO HARD to not push my opinions or judgement on anyone who chooses not to breastfeed.  I am by no means perfect at that, though.  I already hate that moms are against one another on so many topics and I was so upset that I may have just offended a whole slew of people.  Seriously, I worried ALL AFTERNOON about this.  I even chose to leave that group because I felt like I had disappointed someone by asking that question.  Now that I'm writing this, it seems a little silly that I got so upset but this site has helped me so much in the past and has been a nice area to talk about something so special to me.  (keep in mind, I don't have a ton of friends up here to talk to... unfortunately, groups like this have to kind of suffice.... don't judge. haha).

Then, tonight, I got a message from a woman who is also a member of that group.  She's an older woman whose children are all grown.  She's a BF activist and has been since the 1970s (she's a self-proclaimed hippy).  She sent me a simple message asking why my question got closed down and that prompted a great conversation that simply made me feel much better.  She didn't provide an answer to my question or anything but just knowing that someone else thought the same thing I thought was really nice.  It's really the little things in life that can make such a difference. Sometimes as a mom, you can feel so isolated in the decisions you make... especially when they aren't the most popular among your friends or family.  So, to get a simple supportive message from a total stranger was pretty awesome and totally turned my day around!

Just thought I'd share.  Never underestimate the power of a simple note of encouragement!

xoxo,

Chrissi












Thursday, March 28, 2013

Ummm, Spring? Where are you??

Hey y'all!

Hope everyone is doing well!  Everything up here is just hunky dory.  It's still friggin' freezing all the time and I'm SICK of it!  This has been the longest winter of my life and I really don't understand why anyone would choose to live in any area of this country where it's so cold for so long.  And, yes, I know, it could be worse.  But, it's not worse right now, it's just cold and it just plain sucks.  But, the bulbs are starting to pop through the dirt and I've actually seen a few daffodil blooms in the past day or two.  FINALLY!

Other than old man winter outstaying his welcome, everything else is great.  :)  I have a few updates that have come to fruition since my last post.  So, you know I mentioned that we'd be moving into a newer home, right?  Well, we've made the decision to move into base housing.  We're pretty excited about this decision because the houses are new construction and they're pretty big with nice garages and tons of storage.  But, there's quite a long waiting list (5-7 months) so we're just waiting to hear when we will be moving.  We have a bit of a hectic summer planned right now.  So, in May, we're moving out of this house and putting all of our stuff into a storage unit.  Then, Christian will drive me and Max down to Florida so we can stay down there while he is in Japan until the end of June.  So, when Christian gets back in the States, he'll either stay in NJ and move into our new house (if we have one by then) or he'll fly back down to Florida to stay with us for a few days before we drive back.  Then, if we still don't have a house, we'll move into these little furnished apartments on base at the temporary lodging facility until we actually get a house.  So, needless to say, we're hoping for a house sooner rather than later.

I'm pretty excited about being in Pensacola for about a month and half!  I've rented a little cottage in downtown Pcola for me and Max.  Neither of my parents have two extra rooms so I'd be stuck in the same room as him if I stayed with them.  I get zero sleep and he starts reverting back to sleeping like a newborn when he knows I'm RIGHT there.  So, having our own little house will be perfect.  Plus, it's only a short jog to the waterfront, restaurants, shops, etc.  So, I'm pumped!  Plus, I'm SOOOO excited to be around family and friends for that long during the best time of the year down there (early summer).  Beach days, family time, dinners with friends... fun fun!

So anyway, my last post was right after Max turned one.  Now, he's almost 13 1/2 months old and it blows my mind how quickly the months go by now.  His first few months were just such a blur to me that I don't think I realized how quickly they went by but now that we've had that one year milestone, it seems like the days/weeks/months fly by!  Max just gets more and more fun every day and he's so, so, so smart!  I feel like Forrest Gump when he's standing at Jenny's grave and telling her (with tears in his eyes) how smart little Forrest is.  Just watching my little boy grow and really understand me when I tell him to get his shoes (and he goes into the mudroom where all of our shoes are), or ask him where his milk is (and he goes to get his milk), or tell him to spit out his paci when we get out of the car (and he pulls it out), or ask him if he's ready for a bath (and he goes to the stairs).... or when he just all-of-a-sudden starts using sign language that I've been showing him for months and we can finally communicate when he's "all done" or when he wants more to eat.  Seriously, this little boy amazes me every day.  He knows what sound a doggie makes (bark) and what a tiger says (growl).  He can point out a tractor, an airplane, a duckie, and a ball from the page of a picture book he has.  He knows that candles, the fireplace and the stove are all hot (he holds out his hand like he's feeling the warmed the says "hot" in his own language so it sounds more like dot).  He can say bubble, dada, tractor, duckie, ball, and says bir for bird.  He's also obsessed with airplanes right now.  Anytime he sees one, whether in the sky, in a book, or a toy plane, he makes the sound of an airplane flying and zooms his little hand around like he's holding an airplane.  It's so cute.  He's just amazing.  And he's mine.  And that's amazing.

One year ago, I was barely keeping my head above water in this ocean of responsibility called motherhood (I was closer to drowning than surviving).  Now, I'm treading water and even doing the backstroke some days!  haha  Motherhood is still a hellavuh lot of work.  But, it's something that is so, so special.  I'm someone's mother.  I'm going to be the person my kids are saying "Hi, Mom" to when they get caught on camera in the crowd outside of Good Morning America.  I'm the person my son will (hopefully) always compare his girlfriends and wife to.  I'm that woman who will be Max's first love.  I'm the person who will get to face their tears after a failure and tell them everything will be OK.  How special... and what an intense amount of responsibility that will follow me for the rest of my life.  But, hey, I'm perfectly fine with that.  :)  Something cute I saw yesterday as I was just browsing a cute baby site was a quote that explained the haze of motherhood, it said, "living in a sweet, hazy blur of already but not yet".  I feel like I'm in that sweet, hazy blur every day.  I sit in amazement at how we've 'already' passed something and then I sit in wonderment of the things that are "not yet".

Well, enough with my deep, emotional chit chat.  ;-)  We're heading to western MD this weekend to visit Christian's family and celebrate Easter.  My dad and step-mom sent Max the most adorable Easter outfit so I can't wait to show him off.  haha  I'll take a bunch of pics and post them ASAP!

Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful Easter weekend!

xoxo,

Chrissi
















Friday, February 22, 2013

So much going on!!!

Hey y'all!

I have so many things to update y'all on so I'll try to be to the point.  :)

So, first thing's first.... MAX IS ONE!  Holy crap.  Where did 2012 go?  That was truly the quickest year ever.  I wonder if the years go by quickly when you have kids just because you really have no time for anything else.  I think that may be the case.  :)  I just can't believe my little boy is one already and on his way to being a true toddler.  Craziness.  I rocked him to bed and cried the night before he turned one.  Poor momma!

We had a great birthday party for him here at our house and had about 15 friends come over to help us celebrate along with my mom who came in town for the weekend (which was awesome!)!  The party was simple, easy, and perfect.  It was everything a first birthday should be, in my opinion.  He smashed his smash cake to smithereens but barely ate any of it and that's fine by me!  The less sugar, the better.  He got some great gifts and loved playing with all of the balloons that I picked up that morning.  But, I think his favorite birthday gift was his new car from JuJu.  He LOVES that thing!  It was so funny how he just all of a sudden knew exactly what to do, how to get in, when to close the door, how to honk the horn and he'll even say "go!" when he's ready for another push.  Seriously, can he get any cuter?



The next big thing in our family's news is that we finally got orders.  We're stuck here until May of 2015.  I'm pretty bummed about it but I'm trying to see a silver lining and look on the bright side.  One bright side is that we're planning on moving into a newer house when our lease is up at the end of the summer.  We are so OVER this old house and all of it's creaks and cracks.  I loved it when we moved in but now that we have a baby, there are so many different things I want.  I want carpet upstairs.  I want a master bedroom that all of our furniture actually fits nicely in.  I was more than one full bath.  I want a bigger kitchen.  I want central AC!  I don't want to pay $400-500 each month during the winter just to heat this beast of a house!  So, there's my silver lining.  :)  Come on September!  haha

One thing that is also pretty neat is that there are two new wives in the squadron who I just really quickly clicked with a couple months ago.  So, I'm pretty excited about new friendships with them!  And, this squadron just recently had a change of command so there's actually going to be an Officers' Spouses Club now.  I have had minimal contact with other wives (unless Christian hangs out with their husbands) since we moved up here so it's been a "fend for yourself" situation.  So, I'm pretty excited about something a little more structured when it comes to a support system because God knows we all need it!

So, maybe it won't be too bad and maybe these next two years will fly by.  I'm just struggling to wrap my head around having another baby up here (no, I'm not pregnant... just thinking).  Christian is gone SO much.  I know I can do it and I can handle it but, frankly, it scares the shit out me.

Uhhhh, what else?  OH!  So, I felt like I was dying the other day.  I had the stomach flu and it was AWFUL!  Seriously, I've never felt that bad in my life.  Thank heavens it only lasted 24 hours.  And, thank the Lord Christian was in town and able to be home to help me out.  I'm not sure what I would have done if I was by myself with Max.  And, he's had the stomach bug all week!  It started for him Monday evening and he's thrown up about once each day since and he barely has an appetite.  But, luckily, he's acting pretty normal.  He's a little more clingy than usual but I know he can't feel super so I don't mind that.  I took him to the doc yesterday just because I was worried about not eating and possibly being dehydrated and turns out, he has an ear infection to boot!  Goodness.  Poor kid.  So, now I have him on a super bland diet of toast, apples, and bananas and he started antibiotics last night for his ear.  I was also in the process of slowing weaning Max from breastfeeding (not an easy process, BTW) when all of this hit but the doc recommended a keep nursing for a couple more weeks just to help his immune system fight it a little more.  So, back to square one for that!  Hopefully the sickies leave our house for good!  But, good news is that Christian really hasn't gotten anything.  He felt a little "off" on Monday but he's been fine all week so hopefully it kind of just skips over him.

Christian and I celebrated our three year anniversary on Wednesday (the day I was sick).  Unfortunately, we had to cancel our dinner reservations and baby sitter for that night but fortunately, we have it rescheduled for tonight!  So, we're excited to really celebrate.  We're going out to dinner at Flemings Steakhouse.  We had reservations for Capital Grille but then got a thing in the mail for Flemings and decided to switch it over.  We've never been so I'll let y'all know how it is.

So, all in all, I think we're all ready for this week to be over.  We've had enough of the sickness and crappy orders.  Bring on next week!  It's bound to be better, right!?  :)

I hope all of you had a great week so far and are planning something fun this weekend!  Do something you LOVE.... even if no one else loves it!  :)

xoxo,

Chrissi



















Thursday, January 24, 2013

A bit behind...

Holy moses, it's been over two months since my last post!  What the heck?  You'd think I'm busy with a crazy kid or something.  ;-)

Well, hello again, world.  Hope all of you are doing well in the new year.

OK.... let me just let you guys know what just happened.  I had an entire blog post, a long one, ALMOST done and I accidentally hit the back button and it deleted EVERYTHING!  UGGGGGHHHHHH!  So, let's see how much I can get done before Max wakes up from his nap....  1, 2, 3..... GO!

So, January is coming to an end and we still have yet to hear anything about our next set of orders.  We thought we would know but now but it looks like we're being pushed to at least next month now.  So, the waiting game continues!  BOO!  I think waiting for orders in January might be the hardest thing.  Especially since January is, number one, the most depressing month of the year, and number two, TOO FREAKIN' COLD for me!  haha  I longingly look at my weather channel app every day to see the warm temps in Pensacola and then the 18 degree temps here with wind chills of TWO.... seriously, two degrees.  Yuck.  But, we're here and we're making the best of it.  :)  Spring will be here before we know it and I'll be loving life again.  :)

Oh crap, Max is moving.... annnd, he's down again.  ok, GO!

So, the holidays have passed and went by SO fast!  Max and I spent almost a whole month in Florida and had such a great time!  Spending time with his grandparents and the rest of my family was just pure joy!  He's so much fun and I know everyone had a blast playing with him.  It was great.  Christian got back from his det on December 21st and drove ALL night in order to make it to our family Christmas at noon on the 22nd.  Now, that's LOVE!  I love that man.  Christian and I booked a beach condo for 12 nights while we were down there as our Christmas gift to each other and it was a great gift!  We got to see some beautiful sunsets and even a couple sun rises thanks to Max waking us up for them.  :)  We had a great time.  But, that 17 hour drive back to NJ was looming on us as our time in Florida came to an end.  But, wouldn't ya know, our kid freaking rocks at traveling and he did SO well.  We loaded the iPad with Mickey Mouse Club and he watched those in between naps and we stopped a lot and even stopped over night at a hotel so the trip was great.  We made it home safely and now here we are in 2013!

Wow, 2013!  It's almost February, which means Max is almost ONE!  Whaaaaaaat???  Craziness, pure craziness!  He's SOOO much fun now and has such an awesome little personality.  He's so funny and says a few words now.  He says "ball" ALLLLL the time.  Everytime I'm in the produce section at the grocery store, every orange, apple, avocado, and anything that remotely resembles a ball, gets called a ball.... and not just once but about a thousand times.  haha  He also can say uh oh and doggie.  And, he says "lordy, lordy, lordy" in his own little way.  OH!  He also started saying "wow".  So cute.  He's a baby genius.  haha

More about Max??  OK....  haha  Well, he's still going to his little play class every Thursday and loves it just as much as he always has.  He moved up to the 12-18 month group since he was getting kind of bored in his last age group.  So this one fits him better and he has more challenging stuff to do.  I also started him in swim classes last week!  We go every Friday and he LOVES it!  He was smiling and laughing the whole time.  Water baby!  My step-dad calls him a future Navy Seal.  I'm not so sure I could handle that.  :-/  Anyway.... everything else is great with him.  He's still not quite walking but cruising along everything and hold my hand to walk.  So, all in due time.  No rush, baby boy!

This month was also the first time Christian and I left Max with a sitter who did his bedtime routine with him!  The only other person besides me and Chrsitian to do that is my mom!  So, this was huge for us!  But, it turned out great and he did really well.  Thank goodness.  He is really good around new people and strangers.  He went through a phase of seperation anxiety and would freak if I walked out of the room but it didn't last too long.  I take him to the gym with me every morning and it doesn't even phase him that I'm not in there with him.  I put him down and he just crawls over to the toys and loves the girls in there that watch him.  It's a nice little break for me too.  :)

Oh, Christian turns FORTY next Tuesday, the 29th!  Wow, old man!  haha  But, he looks damn good for forty, right?  Of course.  We don't usually get each other gifts but I figure this big birthday warrants something special.  So, I'm working on that and trying to figure out what he would like (and not get mad at me for buying  haha).

Well, we've started tossing around the idea of baby number two.  I'm still a little more leery than  Christian is at this point.... mainly because I'm the one who is home alone all the time when he's on missions to random places around the world.  So, it's a lot of work.  It's a lot of work with one so I can't imagine how it would be with two!  Whoa.  But, women make it work all the time so I know I could too.  My sanity may suffer but hey, that's overrated anyway, right??  haha  But, whatever is meant to be will be, I suppose.  :)  I think I need to just leave Max with Christian for a few days while I go on a sleep vacation so he can see how it is.  Then, maybe he'll understand my reservations.... probably not though.  haha  He's freakin' superman and makes everything seem so easy.  He'd be the new super dad.  haha

So, I think I've covered everything that was in my original post... and just in time too!  I hear Max throwing his paci's on the floor and saying "uh oh".  That's my cue!  haha  Hope all of you are having a great week!  Talk soon!!

xoxo

Chrissi