Wow... life change has hit me.

Hey everyone.  So, here I am now with an 11 day old baby boy.  It's really amazing and it's really a lot harder than I expected.  Everything about his big arrival was a lot harder than I expected.  But, we're making it just fine.

So, I'll start by explaining my labor and delivery for you guys.  Like I said, it was a LOT harder than I ever expected.  Christian and I think I got a raw deal on labor since I had such an easy pregnancy!  haha  So, contractions started coming at regular intervals at around 4 p.m. on Thursday, Feb.16.  So, they weren't too painful that evening so we went to bed around 10 o'clock that night and then the painful ones started around midnight.  I finally woke Christian up at about 1:30 a.m. and called the doctor.  Doctor told us to go to the hospital to be checked in triage and so we did.  We got to the hospital around 2:30 a.m. and was checked about an hour later and I was only 2 cm and 90% effaced.  So, they had me walk around for an hour to see if any progress would be made.  I was still having pretty hard contractions that made me crouch down on the floor when I was walking the halls but I kept on walking.  So, about an hour and a half later, I got checked again and NO PROGRESS!  So, they gave me the option of going home and I took it.  I knew I'd be able to eat and rest at home a little more comfortably.  Plus, I knew Christian was super tired.  So, around 7 a.m., we headed home.  I went straight to bed but the contractions only got stronger.  I dealt with them until about 10 a.m. when I came downstairs and Christian made me eat something.  He cooked me eggs and bacon so I barely got that down.  Then, he made a fire in the fireplace and I sat on the floor moaning (and cussing) through contractions until they were definitely only five minutes apart.  I called the doctor again telling him I was in a ridiculous amount of pain and he told me to go back to the hospital.  So, I forced myself to eat a little more before we headed back to the hospital around 2 p.m.  When we got back to the hospital.  My OB was there and he checked me and I had made it to 5 cm and was 100% effaced!  I was so excited and it gave me an extra jolt of energy.  So, they admitted us and I had a new source of confidence in dealing with the pain so I made it through about another hour and half before I was checked again and really didn't make much progress since I was admitted.  So, Dr. Grossman wanted to break my water and that scared me because I knew labor would get much more intense at that point so after discussing it with Christian, I opted for an epidural.  Christian was really a cheerleader for me going natural and I appreciate the way he handled it.  He just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be disappointed in myself for getting pain meds.  So, I knew at that point that I wouldn't be upset because it was so painful and to me, going through that for God knows how long just wasn't worth it.  Especially since I was so exhausted and knew I had a long way to go.  So, a little while later, the anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural.  That went fine and didn't even hurt.  But, about five minutes after I got it, I started getting chest pains and my heart rate skyrocketed to about 128 bpm.  YIKES!  About four docs ended up in my room and Christian and I were scared, of course.  So, they did an EKG which turned out fine and they had a cardiologist check me over.  Everything checked out fine so they just kept an eye on me for the next couple hours until the chest pressure went away.  We think it was just nerves and indigestion.  So, from there, everything just progressed slowly and FINALLY at around 1 a.m., I was ready to push.  Well, turns out Max's head was facing up so it was going to be a pretty tough feat for me to turn him and get him out.  At one point, his heart rate dropped SUPER low and scared everyone.  We ended up having about six people in there at that point as they tried to roll me on my sides to see if he was just lying on his cord but nothing was working for about three minutes.  Then, I heard the doc say "get the room ready".  At that time, I knew I might have to have an emergency c-section.  SCARY!  But, Christian reassured me that everything would be fine and soon, Max's heart rate started to come back up and stayed up.  So, after about two hours of pushing and being ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED, Max was still face up and having a hard time coming out.  So, the doc finally offered to use a vacuum and possibly do an episiotomy and at that point, I didn't give a shit what had to be done.  I just wanted him out of me!  So, the doc got the vacuum ready and ended up pulling Max out without having to do an episiotomy.  Whoa.... what a relief.  He was immediately placed on my belly and then whisked away to be cleaned up before Christian brought him back so I could nurse him.  Christian cut the cord and all was well.  :)

So, long story but that was NOT fun, not enjoyable, not anything pleasant.  haha.  It was freaking TOUGH!  I give major props to moms who can do it totally naturally but being in labor for around 30 hours is crazy.  Hopefully the next one will be easier.

The next couple days in the hospital were OK.  I was super sore all over my body and I just felt like I was hungover for a couple days.  So, obviously my body went through hell.  Max did well in the hospital but his bilirubin levels were a little elevated so they had to prick his heel a few times to keep checking.  The level kept decreasing so they let us go home Monday afternoon but we had to take him back Tuesday morning to be tested once more and everything was fine and he was good.

So, the first night at home.... it was a challenge to say the least.  I don't remember much of it but I was emotional and he wanted to stay on my boob for about two hours.  It was crazy.  We weren't prepared with a good sleeping environment for him really so we were a little disorganized.  The second night I fixed up his cradle so it wouldn't swing like crazy, I brought in the white noise machine and kept lights and voices low when he would wake up.  That seems to have helped.  He's been sleeping about four-five hours at a time during the night so that's been good.  I'm definitely tired because I'm not used to having interrupted sleep but I guess I need to get used to it for a while.  :(  He sleeps a good part of the day too but every day he seems more and more alert.  He pretty much eats, sleeps and poops.  Typical, right?

Breastfeeding is going well but it's really demanding on me.  Having to stick to an every 2-3 hour feeding schedule during the day is just draining.  And, the fact that no one else can really help me out with that is hard.  But, I'm producing enough milk and he was already back to his birth weight last Friday.  So, that's good.

We're doing the cloth diapering here and there.  It's a little tough because we have to do laundry every night when we're doing it.  He just goes to the bathroom SO MUCH right now.  Speaking of going to the bathroom, he pees all over the place.  Last night, every time I had to change him (two or three times- can't remember), he peed all over.... even almost hitting me in the face.  Awesome.  haha  Luckily we keep a waterproof pad under him when we change him at night.

So... then there's the baby blues.  Wow, they suck.  I've had them pretty bad since he was born.  I'm just feeling depressed and I miss my old life a hell of a lot.  That makes me feel super guilty and then that makes me feel even worse.  Ugh, it's like a vicious cycle.  I'm feeling OK today but yesterday was rough.  Some days are good, others are bad.  I've been told it all gets better but right now it really sucks.  I'm not one to sugar coat a situation so I'm not going to say that this is the best time of my life or that this is all absolutely amazing because, frankly, it isn't.  It's tough, it's draining, it's daunting, it's tiring, it's hard.  I know it will get better but I wish I could fast-forward to the easier time!  Oh well.  Just say a little prayer for us that we get through everything OK and without any emotional breakdowns.  haha

Well, that about sums up everything that has been going on here.  My mom came in town last Friday and then leaves this coming Sunday.  She's been a huge help in keeping dishes washed and letting me take showers and naps.  So, it will be tough to not have her around but I think that will also make me suck everything up and deal with it.

Then, Christian leaves March 14th for about 17 days.  I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT!  He has been my ROCK through this and keeps me happy.  I miss him so bad when he's at work and I know those 17 days are going to be hard.  But, my Dad and step-mom are coming up for a weekend and Mom might come back up during that time too.  So, we'll make it.  Again, just pray for us.

Anyway, I'm going to relax a little before I feed little man and we head out to Christian's squadron to meet people and watch him play volleyball for a little bit.  Hope y'all are having a good week.

xoxo,
Chrissi

Down to single digits!

We're down to single digit days left before my due date!  Holy moly!  It's kind of crazy that I can reply with "next Sunday" when someone asks me "when are you due?".

I had a little false alarm Wednesday night.  I woke up to go to the bathroom at around 1:30 a.m. and was having some intense cramps and then started having a few contractions.  I laid in bed for about an hour not really sure what to do before it all started to subside!  I didn't wake Christian up or anything because I just didn't get the feeling that it was too urgent.  Yeah, it was uncomfortable but it wasn't crazy painful.  My doc says I'll know when it's real labor.  Basically, I'm hoping my water breaks so I don't have to second guess myself.  haha  So, after it all subsided, I just went back to sleep and woke up feeling fine yesterday.  And, everything is still good to go!  It's just a waiting game now.

I've still been working out almost every day which I totally believe is responsible for me feeling so good in these last weeks.  I really don't feel much different or any more uncomfortable than I have most of my pregnancy.  Yes, this huge belly gets in my way and the extra 35 lbs I've tacked on hurt my back and legs but other than that, I'm really feeling good...awkward, but good..  I've pretty much kept up with my pre-pregnancy workout routine, minus the running.  I stopped running when I got into my second trimester just because it seemed weird to me.  I do about 20 minutes on the elliptical along with strength training about three days a week and the other two or three days I just do cardio.  I'm doing a little lighter weight now and I don't do things where I lay on my back or anything that could possibly make me fall off balance (weighted squats, etc).  But, everything else is pretty much fair game as long as I feel comfortable and my heart rate doesn't sky rocket.  I'm just hoping this really helps after baby is here so I can get back into shape as soon as possible.  Plus, I'm hoping for an easier delivery because of it!

Well, it's Friday and I hope all of you are planning a great weekend!  We have a very interesting day planned for tomorrow!  One of my good friends up here, Vicki, has an uncle who is a World War II vet.  His name is Tony.  He was a pilot and Vicki connected him with Christian and they chat over email and Tony sends all kinds of amazing stories about his career.  So, a couple weeks ago, we were hanging out with Vicki and her boyfriend, Matt, and mentioned that we'd love to officially meet Tony so the five of us (me, Christian, Vicki, Matt and Tony) are all going to meet out at base tomorrow so Christian can show him around the C-130.  Then, we're going to head over to NAES Lakehurst (about 25 minutes from McGuire-where Christian is stationed) so we can do a little tour of where the Hindenburg crashed, see some of the huge airship hangers that were used back in the World Wars and go through a small museum over there.  I'm so excited!  Seriously, y'all would be so entertained by some of the stories Tony has about his flying days.  They are absolutely amazing.  Christian tells me that military aviation is so different now and there's no way he'd be able to have any stories that compare to Tony's.  It's really interesting!  So, that will be a lot of fun.  I'll take lots of pictures.

Those are our only plans for the weekend as of right now.  I know those of you on Mom's side of the family will be enjoying the 60th anniversary party for Grannie and PawPaw.  I wish so badly that we could be there!  I can't wait to come home and see everyone in April!  We'll be there for about a week for Alison's wedding and a little beach vacation.  And, of course, we'll have Max with us!  That will be super exciting!  I'm a little nervous about the logistics of traveling with him but we'll figure it all out.

Well, enjoy the weekend and continue to send positive ju-ju our way so this little boy will come out!  haha

Love y'all!

Chrissi

15 more days!

I truly can't believe that any day now, I could become a MOM!  What the heck!?  I'll be the first to admit, it scares me a little bit.  Don't get me wrong, I really think I'll be a great mom and Christian will be a wonderful dad but the whole life-turning-upside-down thing freaks me out.  Of course, I know that anxiety will go away once I see my little man's face.  But, whoa.... it's a change.  haha  (Ironically, I'm listening to Seal's version of Otis Reading's "A Change is Gonna Come" right now)

Well, nothing much has been going on since my last post.  More and more preparation and cleaning constantly so I won't have to come home to an unorganized house.  I'm getting a little frustrated with the whole cloth diapering thing.  We're definitely still doing it but it's a little annoying that I have to order everything online and can't touch, feel, rub things before I buy them!  I just have to believe the thousands of reviews and suggestions people have.  There isn't a single cloth diapering or "green baby" store around here!  I can't believe that... especially since we're so close to a big city.  If I knew we were staying in this area, I would definitely consider going into that business in Philly.  I think there's ONE store over on the west side of the Philly area in Media, PA.  It would take me like 45 minutes to get over there so it's just not worth it.  There's one woman around here in Collingswood, NJ that offers a cloth diapering workshop but she doesn't have a store.  And, the next workshop she's hosting isn't until March.  So, looks like we're just going to have to wing it.  I'm pretty excited about doing it and the little challenge.  We'll see how it goes.  :)

Speaking of ordering things online.... looks what my darling husband got me!!! New Ugg slippers for my trek around the hospital... and, around anywhere really.  :)  The red (actually more of a red-salmon color) will be here Tuesday!  I'm so excited.  I wear the crap out of my Ugg boots now b/c my feet stay cold at home and I don't like wearing socks (picture me in a nightgown, pregnant, with Ugg boots.....  haha).  The boots are a bit bulky so I'm super pumped about the slippers.

And, speaking of my trek around the hospital, I did the tour of the Labor/Delivery/Mother/Baby units this morning.  As many of you know, I'm not huge on healthcare.  For whatever odd reason (which I don't even know), I just don't trust hospitals and healthcare in general.  I just feel like there are so many cases where things are done to the benefit of the hospital/doctor and not to my benefit or in my best interests.  So, seeing the rooms, nurses, contraptions, and all that jazz did not help ease any anxiety that I have.  And, the fact that I'm attempting to have a natural birth throws a whole other loop in that knot of anxiety.  Bottom line is that I don't feel super supported in my best case scenario birth plan.  I'm not sure if I just didn't do enough research to find the best doc or what but none of the docs that I've seen have been like "OK, super!" when I told them I want to have my baby naturally.  They all tend to tell me some version of "well, we don't like our patients to be in pain".  Really guy?  Ugh.  Oh well, we'll just see how much of a crazed lunatic I have to become to make sure people do what I want.  :)  Remember- I said best case scenario.... I know things could change and medical intervention could become necessary.  

Ok, enough about that.  Anyone have any big plans for the Superbowl tomorrow?  Christian has a drill weekend this weekend so he's working most of the day tomorrow.  We have no plans for the game.  I was thinking about making tailgating food (meatballs, cheese dip, etc) and just hanging out here at the house.  That sounds like fun to me!  Plus, I'm down to a very limited wardrobe now days so finding something cute and comfortable is no fun when trying to get ready to go out somewhere!  haha  I guess I'll be rooting for the Giants simply because of our proximity to their stadium.  Other than that, I really couldn't care less.  I'm pretty pumped to see Madonna's performance and the new commercials.  

Well, anyway, I hope you all have a great weekend!  Do a little rain dance or something to help me go into labor!  haha  

xoxo, 

Chrissi