It's ALL RIGHT

What if, when we are asked how things are going, instead of saying “It’s alright”, we say “It’s all right”?  Wow.  Think about that for a moment and what a profound difference it could have on ev-er-y-thing.  Now, I’m not a very religious person… I don’t understand a lot about God’s word.  But I’m guessing this is similar to what religious folk mean when they say that it’s all in God’s plan.  

Sometimes, it’s damn hard to recognize that everything happening in your life is shaping and molding the person you are and that those things are happening for a reason.  I often think back to things that happened to me when I was younger and know for a fact that I would not be the person I am today without those things.  For better or worse.  I’m a strong, independent, funny, honest, kind, sensitive person.  I am those things because I was raised by one of the strongest single moms in the world who dealt with unimaginable tragedies while raising a teenage girl, because my dad was silly and danced while singing “your momma don’t dance and your daddy loves rock-n-roll” to wake me up on the weekends I spent with him, because my grandmother is honest to a fault and because I’ve known what it feels like when people aren’t kind.  But, it’s all right.  It’s all exactly the right stuff that transforms me into each phase of life.  

I’ll be thirty this summer and while I don’t love everything about my life, everything is really all right for this phase.  I have two beautiful children and a loving husband.  Those children keep me on my toes and don’t allow my mind to ever quit.  And that husband drives me up the wall sometimes and is gone way too often as he serves our country.  I often ask myself “where the hell has Chrissi gone” but I know that at this phase in my life, that is all right.  As a momma, I’m supposed to sacrifice for my small children.  As a Navy wife, I’m supposed to have these feelings because I chose to follow my husband’s career and keep the candle burning at home.  Of course, realizing those things don’t make it any easier to deal with though.  So, even realizing that everything is ALL RIGHT, it’s my duty to myself and my soul to make it FEEL ALL RIGHT.  

And that’s where it’s starts to get a little blurry.  How do I focus on myself when the big kid needs his milk cup filled up one.more.time, or when the baby is waking up every three hours at night, or when the husband comes home and the first thing out of his mouth is “what’s for dinner”?  Honestly, I have no idea.  But, I know that’s all right.  It’s a common struggle for moms.  For wives.  For women.  We do it all for others and often forget about ourselves.  As we service others, we are doing a disservice to ourselves.  So, let’s make a little pact with each other, ladies.  Even if we don’t actually do anything for ourselves, let’s all just recognize that it’s alright to need it.  And that could really make things ALL RIGHT.  

photo cred: thatkindofwoman.tumblr.com

Writing for me.

When I used to have all the time in the world, I wrote.  I would write letters, emails, stories, I had a poem published when I was much younger and I even tried my hand at song writing.  Writing has always been a form of release for me.  Nowadays, when I write, it’s usually an angry email being sent to my husband who is overseas because Skype isn’t working well enough for me to effectively express my anguish for this God-forsaken military lifestyle.  Obviously, I need more of an outlet.  Thus, I’m starting to write for leisure again.  With two small children now in the house, I haven’t had time or energy to write for myself in over a year but the time has come for me to take on the challenge again.  I love to write and I miss it.  I miss that my mind gets taken on a little vacation when I’m writing.  

My husband returned a couple weeks ago from about two months overseas and sent me out for a massage and facial at a fabulous spa.  As I laid there on the massage table and then to get a facial, my mind WOULD NOT STOP and that pissed me off.  My mind needed a vacation.  I was the sole provider of my children's well being for those last two months and I was mentally and physically exhausted.  I made it through it but I was scarred and I let myself get that way.  I knew I had to do something to bring myself back to me.  Writing is that something.  Now, would I love for my writing to take me far beyond this little desk I sit at right now?  Absolutely.  If writing ever turned lucrative for me, that would be the sugar sweet icing on my chocolate cake!  But, for now, it’s my outlet, my exhale after too many deep breaths.  

So, if you’d like, enjoy my little musings.  They should be full of honesty, love, some bitching, maybe a few too many cuss words, and pure, unfiltered life.  

I'm back... here goes nothin' (or everything)

So, it's been over a year since I've posted on my blog site.  Wow.  I logged in about a month ago with all intentions to start writing again.  I got intimidated, the kids woke up, I needed a snack or something else pulled me away from actually writing.  But, tonight the kids are in bed, my tummy is full and I have a glass of courage called wine sitting next to me.

Today, I bought my first domain name (www.chrissijenkins.com), created my first website and started writing again.  I need it.  So badly.  I need an outlet.  I read articles all the time and think "YES!  I feel this way!  I could have written this!"  So, no more of that.  If I feel a certain way, I will write about it.  I will be the one who people relate to.  Maybe I'll be just another "mommy blogger" but it makes me feel good and it's my thing.  It's my zone.... my me time.

So, I'm back and I'm prepared to be as open as I ever have been because that's what we all deserve.  We all need the comfort of being honest with ourselves and others about our feelings.  Life is not all lollipops and unicorns.  And sometimes it's all that and even more!  So, I'd love for you to read along as I keep "Experiencing LIFE, One Day at a Time".