First thing's first, I went to the doc for my post-op this morning and everything looks good with the pathology. Initial reports suggest that it was a "missed abortion" (basically, a delayed or silent miscarriage) rather than a molar pregnancy. But, I have to call back in about to week to get final results. So, that's good news right now!
Anyway, I've always been the type to think "everything happens for a reason". I truly believe this and have always tried to look for the reasons whether I blindly make them up to make myself feel better or if a reason blatantly reveals itself weeks, months or years later. So, with this whole miscarriage thing, I knew there had to be a reason and maybe we would figure it out eventually. But, within the last two weeks, I've found my silver lining of this dark cloud. I feel normal again. Back to Chrissi. I honestly haven't felt this good about life, myself, my marriage, my husband, my future, etc since before Max was born. I'm not sure if this shift was just coincidental or if it was really scientific/hormonal. I asked my doc about it this morning and came close to balling my eyes out in pure joy that I feel back to my old self. It's such a relief. As many of you know, I had a tough time emotionally after Max was born but I never crossed that "Brooke Shields Line" as my doctor calls it. So, I just kind of accepted that having a young child is hard and it weighs on you and your life kind of comes to a standstill for a couple years. Then, I got pregnant and figured this is just how it was going to be for a couple MORE years. Ugh. So, I'm going to be totally honest and say that I wasn't 100 percent excited to be pregnant again. Yes, we were trying and yes, we always wanted our kids two years apart. But, damn, this shit is hard. So, when the miscarriage happened, it was (I'm cringing as I type this) kind of a relief. Then, when I had my procedure after the miscarriage and my hormones went back to normal, I thought, "oh my God, my life is back". I actually feel like wearing something a little sexier than yoga pants every day now and not having my hair in a pony tail all the time. I'm putting on pretty bras that I haven't worn since Max was born. I actually feel like laying with my husband on the couch without worrying that I'm going to have to turn any of his advances down ONE MORE TIME, which is definitely not like the "old me". (sorry Mom and Dad that you have to read that haha). I'M BACK BABY!!!!!!! And, I know Christian has to be so relieved to no longer be living with a bitch who is constantly annoyed with him. Let's just hope this sticks. haha
So anyway, I asked my doctor about this today. I said, look, my son is 18 months and I'm just now starting to feel like a normal person and I feel like over all, all is right in my world. Is this kind of standard or was I just effed up? haha He said it could have definitely been that this miscarriage kind of threw my body for a loop and then kind of knocked everything back into normal range. Or, it could just be a coincidence. He said a lot of women have issues during the first year after having a baby and sometimes it just lasts longer. He told me to revel in this feeling and take advantage of it. I told him that this newfound glory kind of makes me scared to get pregnant again because I don't want to go back to that emotional place. So, he suggested maybe take six months off from thinking about expanding our family. I'm down with that. Christian and I have talked about when we think we might be ready again and it's kind of a que sera sera thing. So, we'll see what happens, how things go, etc. But, for now, I'm taking this and running with it. Max is at such a cool age and is such an awesome kid. He's great for any babysitter and plays so well. That being said, I'm going to try and use sitters more often so I can get out and do things on my own and Christian and I can have more dates (once he gets back in the States next month).
I wanted to share this information. I know some of you may think I'm bat-shit crazy for being such an open book but I think honesty is the best quality when it comes to being a mom. It's so politically correct to say that everything is great and that being a mom is the most amazing thing in the world. And, with Facebook, every new mom is always in pure bliss, right? Frankly, I want to slap everyone of those new moms who post nothing but amazing stuff because all it is is FALSE ADVERTISEMENT. In reality, it's hard, really hard. It changes your life. It humbles you and makes you realize that you are no longer the most important thing in your life. But, you also have to remember that you are important. Take care of yourself. Do things for yourself. If you feel like shit all the time, do something about it (medically, naturally or in whatever way you feel necessary). I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say "go hire a sitter/family member to keep the baby/kid for x amount of time each week" because I'm JUST NOW getting comfortable with someone other than my husband or mom watching Max. So, I can't offer that advice since I've never taken it myself. But, I will admit, once you are comfortable with it, it's quite amazing. ;-)
So, now I'm going to go sit down and have a nice, quiet lunch all by myself since Max is napping. Otherwise, I'd be scarfing down a microwaved leftover piece of pizza while begging a defiant toddler to take "two more bites" of his lunch. Enjoy your day! And, hang in there, mommas.
Chrissi
Monday, August 19, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
Back to Life
Hey y'all,
Just wanted to send an update on all that has been going on. I had my D&E on Friday and all went well. I felt fine that evening and was told to resume pretty much regular activity the next day. So, I did! We've had amazing weather this weekend so we've spent a lot of time outside and with friends. Christian and I got each other bikes for Mother's Day and Father's Day and finally got around to picking them out and buying them this weekend. We got Max a seat for the back of my bike and he loves it! So, we've been doing a lot of riding, too!
Anyway, everything with my procedure went well and we should know the pathology results this week to determine if it was, in fact, a molar pregnancy. If it was, then I'll have to just have my hormones monitored for the next 6 months or so to make sure none of that tissue grows back. I'll go back to the doc in about two weeks for my post-op and get a plan of action then. Everything should be fine.
Emotionally, we're doing really well. I feel a little strange for having almost no emotional reaction to this (other than the moment I found out) but I just feel like it's something that was meant to happen and it's nothing I can change. So, why worry? I think if this would have been our first pregnancy, I would have been absolutely devastated. So hard. But, I'm utterly in love with my Max and he keeps me busy and on my toes so I have plenty to keep me busy right now. Christian is doing well too. I think we both have the same attitude towards this. I keep asking him if he's really OK and I'm pretty certain that he is. :) So, it's just one of those things. I think we're going to wait a few months to try again (whether we medically have to or not). We're just going to take this time and focus on our family of three. We have a big trip to Europe next month, a trip to New Hampshire in October and then the holidays right around the corner. So, we'll be busy. :)
Christian's detachment starts next Monday so that's kind of a bummer. But, I'm hoping my mom comes up one weekend to keep me company! Almost all of my girlfriends up here are also going to be husband-less because their hubs are all leaving on the same trip too! So, I'll be in good company. We already all have a moms' night out planned and we actually all got babysitters! Yay! haha
Anyway, just wanted to send an update and let y'all know that we're a-ok. We have more gorgeous weather (sunny with a high of 79!) today so Max and I will be hanging outside.
xoxo,
Chrissi
Just wanted to send an update on all that has been going on. I had my D&E on Friday and all went well. I felt fine that evening and was told to resume pretty much regular activity the next day. So, I did! We've had amazing weather this weekend so we've spent a lot of time outside and with friends. Christian and I got each other bikes for Mother's Day and Father's Day and finally got around to picking them out and buying them this weekend. We got Max a seat for the back of my bike and he loves it! So, we've been doing a lot of riding, too!
Anyway, everything with my procedure went well and we should know the pathology results this week to determine if it was, in fact, a molar pregnancy. If it was, then I'll have to just have my hormones monitored for the next 6 months or so to make sure none of that tissue grows back. I'll go back to the doc in about two weeks for my post-op and get a plan of action then. Everything should be fine.
Emotionally, we're doing really well. I feel a little strange for having almost no emotional reaction to this (other than the moment I found out) but I just feel like it's something that was meant to happen and it's nothing I can change. So, why worry? I think if this would have been our first pregnancy, I would have been absolutely devastated. So hard. But, I'm utterly in love with my Max and he keeps me busy and on my toes so I have plenty to keep me busy right now. Christian is doing well too. I think we both have the same attitude towards this. I keep asking him if he's really OK and I'm pretty certain that he is. :) So, it's just one of those things. I think we're going to wait a few months to try again (whether we medically have to or not). We're just going to take this time and focus on our family of three. We have a big trip to Europe next month, a trip to New Hampshire in October and then the holidays right around the corner. So, we'll be busy. :)
Christian's detachment starts next Monday so that's kind of a bummer. But, I'm hoping my mom comes up one weekend to keep me company! Almost all of my girlfriends up here are also going to be husband-less because their hubs are all leaving on the same trip too! So, I'll be in good company. We already all have a moms' night out planned and we actually all got babysitters! Yay! haha
Anyway, just wanted to send an update and let y'all know that we're a-ok. We have more gorgeous weather (sunny with a high of 79!) today so Max and I will be hanging outside.
xoxo,
Chrissi
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
another dose of big news... only, this time, it's not so great.
Well, today I went for my first trimester screening where they check for any genetic defects in the baby like Down Syndrome, etc. Unfortunately, at 13 weeks, we no longer have a heartbeat. The doctor talked to me after the ultrasound and explained that he thinks I have what they call a "partial molar pregnancy". Basically, there was an genetic issue with the fertilization process and if the baby would have survived pregnancy, there would have been severe defects. So, sometimes these things happen and while it may not make sense as to "why us", it's just part of the plan.
It sucks. I was by myself at the appointment and that was hard. Christian was home with Max so he wasn't with me. I knew something was going on when I didn't hear a heartbeat while she was doing the ultrasound and the baby didn't move at all. I even asked the tech if there was a heartbeat when she was walking out of the room and she said "I'll have to look at all of the pictures". Well, I'm no dummy and I know you can tell if there's a heartbeat while you're on the machine. But, I know she's just the tech and probably can't tell me that kind of thing. So, she came back and said the doc wanted to talk to me. So, I spoke with him and he showed me all of the pictures and explained the molar pregnancy and that even if the baby had a heartbeat, the pregnancy would need to be terminated. So, in a way, I'm thankful that, since there is no heartbeat, I don't have to make the decision to terminate my pregnancy. That's a relief.
So, now I'm waiting to hear from my doctor to see what the next steps are. Since I'm so far along, I'll have to have a D&C to clean out my uterus. The little research that Christian and I have done says that you shouldn't get pregnant for another 6-12 months so that's a pretty big bummer. I guess we won't definitely know if this is actually a molar pregnancy until the docs test my placenta after the D&C. But, it's all we have right now.
I hate that we JUST told everyone and now we have to give the bad news. I hate that I had just really started to get excited about this and not really scared. I hate that the two-year age gap that we always wanted is no longer going to happen. But, everything happens for a reason, right? Christian and I are ok. We still have a zillion questions for my doctors and really just wonder "why?". I can't imagine having a baby with severe defects so in that sense, I know this was all part of God's plan. We'll be fine and Max will make an awesome big brother when the right time comes. For now, I'm just going to love on my little man like crazy and be thankful that I have his happy, healthy face to come home to.
Anyway, I just wanted to do a blanket memo because, frankly, I don't want to get to that awkward conversation where someone asks me how the pregnancy is going and I have to say that I've had a miscarriage. No fun, right.
So, y'all have a good day. I'll fill you in more once we hear back from the doctors.
xoxo,
Chrissi
It sucks. I was by myself at the appointment and that was hard. Christian was home with Max so he wasn't with me. I knew something was going on when I didn't hear a heartbeat while she was doing the ultrasound and the baby didn't move at all. I even asked the tech if there was a heartbeat when she was walking out of the room and she said "I'll have to look at all of the pictures". Well, I'm no dummy and I know you can tell if there's a heartbeat while you're on the machine. But, I know she's just the tech and probably can't tell me that kind of thing. So, she came back and said the doc wanted to talk to me. So, I spoke with him and he showed me all of the pictures and explained the molar pregnancy and that even if the baby had a heartbeat, the pregnancy would need to be terminated. So, in a way, I'm thankful that, since there is no heartbeat, I don't have to make the decision to terminate my pregnancy. That's a relief.
So, now I'm waiting to hear from my doctor to see what the next steps are. Since I'm so far along, I'll have to have a D&C to clean out my uterus. The little research that Christian and I have done says that you shouldn't get pregnant for another 6-12 months so that's a pretty big bummer. I guess we won't definitely know if this is actually a molar pregnancy until the docs test my placenta after the D&C. But, it's all we have right now.
I hate that we JUST told everyone and now we have to give the bad news. I hate that I had just really started to get excited about this and not really scared. I hate that the two-year age gap that we always wanted is no longer going to happen. But, everything happens for a reason, right? Christian and I are ok. We still have a zillion questions for my doctors and really just wonder "why?". I can't imagine having a baby with severe defects so in that sense, I know this was all part of God's plan. We'll be fine and Max will make an awesome big brother when the right time comes. For now, I'm just going to love on my little man like crazy and be thankful that I have his happy, healthy face to come home to.
Anyway, I just wanted to do a blanket memo because, frankly, I don't want to get to that awkward conversation where someone asks me how the pregnancy is going and I have to say that I've had a miscarriage. No fun, right.
So, y'all have a good day. I'll fill you in more once we hear back from the doctors.
xoxo,
Chrissi
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Big news!
Hey y'all!
I hope everyone is doing well! We're finally in our house and actually settled in pretty well. We are loving our house and neighborhood and neighbors. Everything is great! The only thing that's hard to get used to is the fact that we're at least 20-30 minutes from anything (besides the commissary on base). So, that's not super fun but hey, it saves money, right? No more daily random trips to Target for nothing in particular and leaving with over $50 worth of stuff. haha But, all-in-all, we're loving it and so is Max. There are tons of kids in the neighborhood who are always outside so that's awesome.
The weather has been so nice up here the past few days. On Thursday, the high was about 68 and it was amazing!!! It was about 82-85 yesterday and today so it's been great. Windows open in the morning and evening just make life so enjoyable! :)
Christian has been home for a while now and doesn't have any trips planned until he leaves for det on August 12th. So, that's been great. It will be a little adjustment when he leaves since, like I said, we're so far from everything. But, we'll make it work and go to the playground a lot! I'm hoping to get a bike with a seat for Max before Christian leaves so we can go for long bike rides to kill time and get outside.
I'm going to NYC next Saturday with two of my girlfriends for one of their birthdays! We're staying the night so this will be the first time I've ever been away from Max overnight and I'm having a little (actually a lot) anxiety about it. I know he'll be 100 percent fine with Christian but I'm going to miss him SOOOOO much! :( But, NYC will be fun.
Well, anyway, let me get to the point of my post! :) I think everyone who actually gets this blog emailed to them already knows but I figured I'd make it "internet official". :) Soooooo.... Christian and I are expecting baby number two! Due date is Feb. 6th and we're super excited! The kids will be almost exactly two years apart and that's what we've always wanted so it's great. To tell you the truth, I'm also pretty terrified. I know how hard the first few months of a baby's life are and I can only imagine how much more complex it will be to add a toddler into that newborn crazy mix. But, we'll make it. haha I'm so excited to see Max as a big brother. I already ask him "where's momma's baby?" and he'll point to my belly. :) He's so smart and so funny. I can't imagine loving anything/anyone more than that little boy but I hear your heart just grows to fit that extra love in. That's pretty amazing. When I first found out I was pregnant, even though we were trying for number 2, I cried a lot about Max no longer being my only baby and how he was going to handle it, etc, etc. I still worry that I won't get much alone time with my little man once baby comes but I'm sure it will all even out. If anyone has any support or encouragement in that respect, I'd love to hear it!
I've chosen a new OB up here and decided to deliver at a different hospital from where Max was born. I'm delivering at a hospital that has the Baby Friendly designation from the World Health Organization and UNICEF. It's basically more focused on natural mother/baby bonding and extremely breastfeeding friendly. So, I'm excited to see how different the experience will be. I've heard it's night and day difference so it will be interesting! A friend of mine who lives around here is due with her second soon and she has also chosen to deliver at a Baby Friendly hospital so I'll hear all about her experience soon! :)
So, that's our news! It's been a crazy few months for us, to say the least! But, what else would anyone expect from the Jenkins family, right?! haha But, we're extremely happy to be settled in a great house with plenty of room (and central AC!). :)
Anyway, y'all have a great week coming up! Talk soon,
Chrissi :)
I hope everyone is doing well! We're finally in our house and actually settled in pretty well. We are loving our house and neighborhood and neighbors. Everything is great! The only thing that's hard to get used to is the fact that we're at least 20-30 minutes from anything (besides the commissary on base). So, that's not super fun but hey, it saves money, right? No more daily random trips to Target for nothing in particular and leaving with over $50 worth of stuff. haha But, all-in-all, we're loving it and so is Max. There are tons of kids in the neighborhood who are always outside so that's awesome.
The weather has been so nice up here the past few days. On Thursday, the high was about 68 and it was amazing!!! It was about 82-85 yesterday and today so it's been great. Windows open in the morning and evening just make life so enjoyable! :)
Christian has been home for a while now and doesn't have any trips planned until he leaves for det on August 12th. So, that's been great. It will be a little adjustment when he leaves since, like I said, we're so far from everything. But, we'll make it work and go to the playground a lot! I'm hoping to get a bike with a seat for Max before Christian leaves so we can go for long bike rides to kill time and get outside.
I'm going to NYC next Saturday with two of my girlfriends for one of their birthdays! We're staying the night so this will be the first time I've ever been away from Max overnight and I'm having a little (actually a lot) anxiety about it. I know he'll be 100 percent fine with Christian but I'm going to miss him SOOOOO much! :( But, NYC will be fun.
Well, anyway, let me get to the point of my post! :) I think everyone who actually gets this blog emailed to them already knows but I figured I'd make it "internet official". :) Soooooo.... Christian and I are expecting baby number two! Due date is Feb. 6th and we're super excited! The kids will be almost exactly two years apart and that's what we've always wanted so it's great. To tell you the truth, I'm also pretty terrified. I know how hard the first few months of a baby's life are and I can only imagine how much more complex it will be to add a toddler into that newborn crazy mix. But, we'll make it. haha I'm so excited to see Max as a big brother. I already ask him "where's momma's baby?" and he'll point to my belly. :) He's so smart and so funny. I can't imagine loving anything/anyone more than that little boy but I hear your heart just grows to fit that extra love in. That's pretty amazing. When I first found out I was pregnant, even though we were trying for number 2, I cried a lot about Max no longer being my only baby and how he was going to handle it, etc, etc. I still worry that I won't get much alone time with my little man once baby comes but I'm sure it will all even out. If anyone has any support or encouragement in that respect, I'd love to hear it!
I've chosen a new OB up here and decided to deliver at a different hospital from where Max was born. I'm delivering at a hospital that has the Baby Friendly designation from the World Health Organization and UNICEF. It's basically more focused on natural mother/baby bonding and extremely breastfeeding friendly. So, I'm excited to see how different the experience will be. I've heard it's night and day difference so it will be interesting! A friend of mine who lives around here is due with her second soon and she has also chosen to deliver at a Baby Friendly hospital so I'll hear all about her experience soon! :)
So, that's our news! It's been a crazy few months for us, to say the least! But, what else would anyone expect from the Jenkins family, right?! haha But, we're extremely happy to be settled in a great house with plenty of room (and central AC!). :)
Anyway, y'all have a great week coming up! Talk soon,
Chrissi :)
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
just an old vagabond these days....
Well, we're still (im)patiently waiting to move into our house. I talked to the housing office yesterday morning and our leasing agent told me that the house was going into turnover maintenance yesterday. So, we're supposed to get an official move-in date today. I'm thinking it will be within the week. If not, I may lose my mind. :) But, I will say, the temporary lodging facility that we're in is very nice. It's a two bedroom apartment that's fully furnished and has a full kitchen. So, life isn't too bad.
I drove by our house last week and I love it and our neighborhood! We're actually right off base in the largest base housing neighborhood. It has playgrounds on just about every corner, a community pool, and large open space for picnics and festivals. There's also a great farmers' market every Thursday this summer and fall in one of those big open spaces. It's going to be great. I just can't wait!
I'm working on finding a new babysitter for Max. One thing I'm going to check out this Friday is a fellow military wife who is a licensed and insured in-home childcare provider sponsored by the base. She has to have her house inspected once a month and serve certain kinds of foods. It's also limited to six children at a time. She lives in the neighborhood we're moving into. I'm on the fence about this but I'm going to go check it out and meet her to see what it's all about. It would just be for random appointments that I have when I can't take Max and Christian isn't home. But, I still need to find another babysitter for date-nights and stuff like that. So, I'm on the search.
Also, we're planning on starting Max in pre-school this fall for two mornings a week. I toured the school earlier this year and it's great. I know Max would love it and I think he'd learn a lot. It's called The Goddard School. They're nationally recognized and very structured. So, I just have to figure out the best time for him to start. We're planning on going to Europe again this fall so I may just wait until after we get back since we'll most likely be gone for a couple of weeks.
Well, that's about all I have for now. I'll post again once we get in our house and include some pics!
xoxo,
Chrissi
I drove by our house last week and I love it and our neighborhood! We're actually right off base in the largest base housing neighborhood. It has playgrounds on just about every corner, a community pool, and large open space for picnics and festivals. There's also a great farmers' market every Thursday this summer and fall in one of those big open spaces. It's going to be great. I just can't wait!
I'm working on finding a new babysitter for Max. One thing I'm going to check out this Friday is a fellow military wife who is a licensed and insured in-home childcare provider sponsored by the base. She has to have her house inspected once a month and serve certain kinds of foods. It's also limited to six children at a time. She lives in the neighborhood we're moving into. I'm on the fence about this but I'm going to go check it out and meet her to see what it's all about. It would just be for random appointments that I have when I can't take Max and Christian isn't home. But, I still need to find another babysitter for date-nights and stuff like that. So, I'm on the search.
Also, we're planning on starting Max in pre-school this fall for two mornings a week. I toured the school earlier this year and it's great. I know Max would love it and I think he'd learn a lot. It's called The Goddard School. They're nationally recognized and very structured. So, I just have to figure out the best time for him to start. We're planning on going to Europe again this fall so I may just wait until after we get back since we'll most likely be gone for a couple of weeks.
Well, that's about all I have for now. I'll post again once we get in our house and include some pics!
xoxo,
Chrissi
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Let's all get a little real for a second...
Alright y'all... there have been a few things in the news lately that have sparked some controversial fires amongst certain "groups". First, there was the Paula Deen "scandal" and then today, the rulings on Proposition 8 in California and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Let's start with the first hooplah.
The first thing I heard about Paula Deen was that she was dropped by the Food Network. I hadn't heard anything about her court situation, the trial, her admissions, etc before the Food Network dropped her. Wait... take that back. The actual first thing I heard was that she missed her interview on the Today Show. Then, I did a little more searching and slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together regarding this story. Pieces are still falling into place about this story today. My OPINION (we all have them), frankly, is that it's all a bunch of bullshit (pardon the language). Here are a couple pieces of the story (in black) and what I think (in blue):
So, she and her brother are being sued by a former employee for sexual harassment and racial discrimination. She was asked in the deposition if the had "ever used the n-word". She honestly replied "yes, of course. It's been a very long time". I'm sure about 95 percent of southern people from her same age group would answer that question the same way. The woman suing also stated that Paula Deen never exhibited any signs of being a racists (so I'm not sure where the claims of racial discrimination come from). The media is bringing up all kinds of other crap that just puts people against one another to create more and more drama. For instance, why bring up that Paula Deen once discussed having a plantation-style wedding where black people would be dressed in period outfits and be serving food a drinks. She discussed but didn't do it. And, frankly, I'm sure plenty of people would have gladly accepted the job and not bitched about it being racist. I'm sick of our media doing this. They do it enough during election season and they are the number one cause of racism, political hate and any other modern segregation these days. It's disgusting. Then, this morning, Matt Lauer (a freakin' shark) referenced another quote from Paula during the deposition which says, basically, that she couldn't determine what offends other people. Initially, when I heard that, I kind of cringed. I thought "oh crap, Paula. Why would you go and say something stupid like that? We all know what is offensive". But, she quickly explained what she meant by that. She went on to say that some of her employees and young people in general throw that word around describing each other all the time. When you hear it that much, obviously it makes you wonder why it's fine for blacks to say it all the time (and let's not even get into the difference in "nigger" and "nigga"... ridiculous) but if a white person is honest about saying it decades ago, her world can come crumbling down.)
These are a few of the things that just erk me about this story. Obviously, I don't know Paula Deen on a personal level. But, I know a HELL OF A LOT of women who are SO MUCH like her and those women don't have a racist bone in their body. People in the South have a history. And, really, we aren't too far removed from that history. People alive and well today remember the past vividly and were immersed in the civil rights movement. It wasn't even a lifetime ago, y'all.
And, here's a little food for thought if you are reeling on the last point I made about the Paula Deen thing (blacks calling each other nigger). Do you EVER, ever in your life, hear a Mexican calling another Mexican a "wetback", a Jewish person calling another Jewish person a "kike", an Arabic person calling another Arabic person a "towel head"? My point is, if we all know these words are offensive, take them out of your mouth, no matter who you are. Just. Stop. It. Don't tell me that it's OK for you to use the most offensive word that you know of to describe your buddy. That's just bullshit. Racism is racism. Stop even making anyone question what is or isn't offensive.
OK, off my soapbox about that one.
Now, moving on. HOOOORAY for equality today! I am a full supporter of equal marriage rights to all. I see absolutely zero reason to not support it... ze-ro. I understand it's a big religious thing and frankly, I'm not very religious so maybe that's why I don't understand a traditional Christian view on this. I was raised in a pretty conservative family and I'm going to venture to say that the majority of my family does not agree with me on this. But, to each her own. What I really love about today's rulings is the true separation of Church and State.
My favorite blogger-turned-author, Glennon Melton (author of Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed and the blog Momastery www.momastery.com), has a beautiful piece in her book about being an open-minded Christian and getting to the point where she felt OK with only supporting certain parts of the Bible and taking others with a small grain of salt. This has helped me understand religion a little more and be a little more open to the idea of Christianity because growing up around a Southern Baptist community, my views didn't align and, therefore, I've always felt I didn't align. But, as I approach my fourth decade of life, I'm slowly getting that it's OK. Nothing is black and white when it comes to love. And that's what religion really is all about, right? To love one another as God loves you? Done and done.
Here's a link to an amazing post by Glennon today. Read it, folks:
http://momastery.com/blog/2013/06/24/i-love-gay-people-and-i-love-christians-i-choose-all/
Enjoy your day, y'all.
xoxo,
Chrissi
The first thing I heard about Paula Deen was that she was dropped by the Food Network. I hadn't heard anything about her court situation, the trial, her admissions, etc before the Food Network dropped her. Wait... take that back. The actual first thing I heard was that she missed her interview on the Today Show. Then, I did a little more searching and slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together regarding this story. Pieces are still falling into place about this story today. My OPINION (we all have them), frankly, is that it's all a bunch of bullshit (pardon the language). Here are a couple pieces of the story (in black) and what I think (in blue):
So, she and her brother are being sued by a former employee for sexual harassment and racial discrimination. She was asked in the deposition if the had "ever used the n-word". She honestly replied "yes, of course. It's been a very long time". I'm sure about 95 percent of southern people from her same age group would answer that question the same way. The woman suing also stated that Paula Deen never exhibited any signs of being a racists (so I'm not sure where the claims of racial discrimination come from). The media is bringing up all kinds of other crap that just puts people against one another to create more and more drama. For instance, why bring up that Paula Deen once discussed having a plantation-style wedding where black people would be dressed in period outfits and be serving food a drinks. She discussed but didn't do it. And, frankly, I'm sure plenty of people would have gladly accepted the job and not bitched about it being racist. I'm sick of our media doing this. They do it enough during election season and they are the number one cause of racism, political hate and any other modern segregation these days. It's disgusting. Then, this morning, Matt Lauer (a freakin' shark) referenced another quote from Paula during the deposition which says, basically, that she couldn't determine what offends other people. Initially, when I heard that, I kind of cringed. I thought "oh crap, Paula. Why would you go and say something stupid like that? We all know what is offensive". But, she quickly explained what she meant by that. She went on to say that some of her employees and young people in general throw that word around describing each other all the time. When you hear it that much, obviously it makes you wonder why it's fine for blacks to say it all the time (and let's not even get into the difference in "nigger" and "nigga"... ridiculous) but if a white person is honest about saying it decades ago, her world can come crumbling down.)
These are a few of the things that just erk me about this story. Obviously, I don't know Paula Deen on a personal level. But, I know a HELL OF A LOT of women who are SO MUCH like her and those women don't have a racist bone in their body. People in the South have a history. And, really, we aren't too far removed from that history. People alive and well today remember the past vividly and were immersed in the civil rights movement. It wasn't even a lifetime ago, y'all.
And, here's a little food for thought if you are reeling on the last point I made about the Paula Deen thing (blacks calling each other nigger). Do you EVER, ever in your life, hear a Mexican calling another Mexican a "wetback", a Jewish person calling another Jewish person a "kike", an Arabic person calling another Arabic person a "towel head"? My point is, if we all know these words are offensive, take them out of your mouth, no matter who you are. Just. Stop. It. Don't tell me that it's OK for you to use the most offensive word that you know of to describe your buddy. That's just bullshit. Racism is racism. Stop even making anyone question what is or isn't offensive.
OK, off my soapbox about that one.
Now, moving on. HOOOORAY for equality today! I am a full supporter of equal marriage rights to all. I see absolutely zero reason to not support it... ze-ro. I understand it's a big religious thing and frankly, I'm not very religious so maybe that's why I don't understand a traditional Christian view on this. I was raised in a pretty conservative family and I'm going to venture to say that the majority of my family does not agree with me on this. But, to each her own. What I really love about today's rulings is the true separation of Church and State.
My favorite blogger-turned-author, Glennon Melton (author of Carry On Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed and the blog Momastery www.momastery.com), has a beautiful piece in her book about being an open-minded Christian and getting to the point where she felt OK with only supporting certain parts of the Bible and taking others with a small grain of salt. This has helped me understand religion a little more and be a little more open to the idea of Christianity because growing up around a Southern Baptist community, my views didn't align and, therefore, I've always felt I didn't align. But, as I approach my fourth decade of life, I'm slowly getting that it's OK. Nothing is black and white when it comes to love. And that's what religion really is all about, right? To love one another as God loves you? Done and done.
Here's a link to an amazing post by Glennon today. Read it, folks:
http://momastery.com/blog/2013/06/24/i-love-gay-people-and-i-love-christians-i-choose-all/
Enjoy your day, y'all.
xoxo,
Chrissi
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Hey y'all! (from Florida)
Hey everybody!
We're well into our little vacation in Pensacola and we are loving it! The trip down was pretty easy and Max did great! It took him a little while to get settled on a decent sleep schedule but now I think we're back to normal. So, that's great! We've been having so much fun and I know I'm going to HATE to leave. But, hopefully we'll be given a house soon so we have something fun to go back to. Otherwise, it's really going to suck knowing that we're leaving Florida to go back to temporary housing on base in NJ. Ugh! So, say a little prayer that we get a house before we go home.
Anyway, like I said, it's been a great trip so far. Christian was only here for about four days but we tried to make the most of his time here. We visited family and ate at some good restaurants. He left on the 19th. Max and I moved into our little vacation rental on the 25th and it's been nice to have a place of our own. It's super convenient and we're able to run errands without having a 30 minute drive like we would if we were staying with my parents. So, this has been great. We're here until June 26th and hopefully Christian will be back down here by then!
We've been taking advantage of all the fun stuff to do around here like the splash pad downtown, the beach a couple times, swimming at Roger Scott pool and of course spending tons of time with family. Family makes like so much easier. Yesterday, I drove over to my brother's place (he lives over on 30a in Santa Rosa Beach) and we went for an awesome bike ride through some of the beach towns down there. That is seriously one of the most beautiful places on earth down there. If you've never been, GO, like now... just go. It's 19 miles of gorgeous-ness. :) We biked about 20 miles and it was a gorgeous day. Then, by the time I got back home yesterday afternoon, I was exhausted so as soon as Max went to bed, my butt was in bed! haha
Oh, something else that is super great is a decision that Christian and I have made (well, technically, that christian finally agreed to) is that we're moving back to Pensacola when he retires in four years! Y'all have absolutely NO IDEA how friggin' happy this makes me. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm so excited. We're looking at land now to hold onto and then hopefully build on when we move back. He'll retire and then most likely fly for an airline (or one of the zillion other options he has) out of here. Super! So, like i said, light at the end of the tunnel! Four years will fly by and it will be perfect timing for Max to start kindergarten right when we move down here. Happy, happy, happy!
Well, that's about it for now! Y'all have a wonderful Sunday!
xoxo,
Chrissi
We're well into our little vacation in Pensacola and we are loving it! The trip down was pretty easy and Max did great! It took him a little while to get settled on a decent sleep schedule but now I think we're back to normal. So, that's great! We've been having so much fun and I know I'm going to HATE to leave. But, hopefully we'll be given a house soon so we have something fun to go back to. Otherwise, it's really going to suck knowing that we're leaving Florida to go back to temporary housing on base in NJ. Ugh! So, say a little prayer that we get a house before we go home.
Anyway, like I said, it's been a great trip so far. Christian was only here for about four days but we tried to make the most of his time here. We visited family and ate at some good restaurants. He left on the 19th. Max and I moved into our little vacation rental on the 25th and it's been nice to have a place of our own. It's super convenient and we're able to run errands without having a 30 minute drive like we would if we were staying with my parents. So, this has been great. We're here until June 26th and hopefully Christian will be back down here by then!
We've been taking advantage of all the fun stuff to do around here like the splash pad downtown, the beach a couple times, swimming at Roger Scott pool and of course spending tons of time with family. Family makes like so much easier. Yesterday, I drove over to my brother's place (he lives over on 30a in Santa Rosa Beach) and we went for an awesome bike ride through some of the beach towns down there. That is seriously one of the most beautiful places on earth down there. If you've never been, GO, like now... just go. It's 19 miles of gorgeous-ness. :) We biked about 20 miles and it was a gorgeous day. Then, by the time I got back home yesterday afternoon, I was exhausted so as soon as Max went to bed, my butt was in bed! haha
Oh, something else that is super great is a decision that Christian and I have made (well, technically, that christian finally agreed to) is that we're moving back to Pensacola when he retires in four years! Y'all have absolutely NO IDEA how friggin' happy this makes me. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm so excited. We're looking at land now to hold onto and then hopefully build on when we move back. He'll retire and then most likely fly for an airline (or one of the zillion other options he has) out of here. Super! So, like i said, light at the end of the tunnel! Four years will fly by and it will be perfect timing for Max to start kindergarten right when we move down here. Happy, happy, happy!
Well, that's about it for now! Y'all have a wonderful Sunday!
xoxo,
Chrissi
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Movin' on
Well, folks, the move is over. We have completed move number three in just over three years. We’re going to be pros at this by the time we’re finished with the Navy! All of our belongings are now piled into a storage unit as we travel the world (Max and me in Florida, Christian in Japan) and await the word that we have been granted a house on base. The move actually went pretty smoothly considering we have a crazy little man on our hands and minimal help. But, our great friends, Vicki & Matt, graciously helped us yesterday and we are SO thankful for them! This would have been HELL if they weren’t there!
Leaving this house was really emotional even though we’re excited about moving. It’s all just bittersweet (as so many things are with military life). We’re definitely ready for a NEW house without creaky floors and central AC but there are some major emotional ties to this house we just left. A lot has happened in that house. We found out we were expecting our first child and brought that precious angel home from the hospital to that house. He said his first words and took his first steps within those walls. We had the best neighbors we could ask for and will miss the easy walks into town for breakfast, lunch, dinner or just coffee. I’ll always miss the fantastic character of that house. It was built in 1926 and still had the original hardwood floors and all the original molding. It was beautiful. But, not very energy efficient... and the kitchen sucked. haha. The peony, hydrangea and lilac bushes in the back yard were things of pure beauty. I will miss them. We cried, laughed, yelled, and loved in the house. But, this is all part of what we call life. We’re moving on to things that will work better for our family. Living on base will not only give us a big new house, it will give me a great support network that I didn’t have much of when we lived so far from base. Living on base will also give me a major sense of security which no alarm system can buy. So, for that, I’m excited. Living on base will certainly be a new and interesting experience but I’m excited to dive into it and take it on as an adventure. Plus, Christian will be home within about five minutes of when he leaves the squadron.... much better than 45 minutes!
Now that we’re technically homeless, we’re shacking up with my father-in-law for a couple days and we’ll head out on our long drive to Florida on Tuesday morning and make it into town late Tuesday night. I CANNOT WAIT to be in Pensacola. I’m so excited for everyone to see Max and for him to hang with his grandparents (from my side) for over a month! And, you better believe I’ll be taking advantage of those grandparents (aka, free babysitters....). haha I’m sure they won’t mind. ;-) I’m so ready to be able to just drive over to my mom’s or dad’s on a random afternoon just to say hi (I really miss my parents) or to spend time with my girlfriends at my favorite restaurants (I really miss my girlfriends too). AND, to LAY ON THE BEACH! Holy Moses, I’ve never been this pale in my life. Gross. I can’t wait.
Well, anyway. Today was Mother’s Day and I hope all you mommas had a fabulous day! I had a great day and Max was extra loving today. I got a massive amount of hugs from that littler lover. I think he knew it was momma’s special day. We went to church this morning (the only church Christian and I go to) and didn’t even have to take Max out of the sanctuary a single time! That was impressive! Then, we got back home and he took a nice long nap since he didn’t really get in bed until close to eleven o’clock last night since we got here so late. After his nap, we went to Christian’s cousin’s house for a family get-together. Oh, and it snowed. Yep, that’s right folks... it’s the middle of May and it was snowing today. Not hard and nothing stuck but there were definitely snow flakes falling from the sky. I guess that’s what western Maryland mountain living will get ya. No. Thank. You. Have I mentioned that I’m ready to be in Florida? :-)
Alright, I’m going to relax and read before hittin’ the hay! Talk soon.
xoxo,
Chrissi
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Waging Mommy War
**Disclaimer for this blog: what I write about today consists of things and decisions that work for me and my family. I fully understand that the decisions I have made do not work for every family. This is a no judgement zone so please read with guards down. **
As you all probably know by now, I am very pro-breastfeeding. Max is almost 14 months old and is still nursing. I'm no longer nursing him on-demand- stopped that around 12 1/2 months- but we still nurse first thing in the morning and for bedtime. It's a super special time and the bonding experience is something that can't be matched. Before I was a mom and for the first several months of Max's life, I thought nursing a toddler was a bit strange. But, low and behold, it works for us and it's something I'm not ready to give up. So, with that bit of information about our current lifestyle, I'll tell you this: I am a "member" of a well known breastfeeding website's Facebook private group where you can go on and ask questions about breastfeeding and get amazing support from other nursing moms around the country. So, lately, I've been wondering a lot about real benefits of extended breastfeeding and how it really impacts a child's health and social wellbeing. Thus, i logged onto that group's site today and asked the following question: "Is there any research or do any of you think that breastfed kids (breastfed past one year) are sweeter/more kind/friendlier/better behaved (you choose the word) than those who are not?". Honestly, I thought this was a very valid question and I've been wondering this for a while just because it's such a loving act. Well, the admins on the site shut down my thread about 10 minutes after I posted it and claimed that my question could start a firestorm among other members who choose formula (keep in mind this is a breastfeeding support group). I don't know why but this REALLY bothered me. I try SO HARD to not push my opinions or judgement on anyone who chooses not to breastfeed. I am by no means perfect at that, though. I already hate that moms are against one another on so many topics and I was so upset that I may have just offended a whole slew of people. Seriously, I worried ALL AFTERNOON about this. I even chose to leave that group because I felt like I had disappointed someone by asking that question. Now that I'm writing this, it seems a little silly that I got so upset but this site has helped me so much in the past and has been a nice area to talk about something so special to me. (keep in mind, I don't have a ton of friends up here to talk to... unfortunately, groups like this have to kind of suffice.... don't judge. haha).
Then, tonight, I got a message from a woman who is also a member of that group. She's an older woman whose children are all grown. She's a BF activist and has been since the 1970s (she's a self-proclaimed hippy). She sent me a simple message asking why my question got closed down and that prompted a great conversation that simply made me feel much better. She didn't provide an answer to my question or anything but just knowing that someone else thought the same thing I thought was really nice. It's really the little things in life that can make such a difference. Sometimes as a mom, you can feel so isolated in the decisions you make... especially when they aren't the most popular among your friends or family. So, to get a simple supportive message from a total stranger was pretty awesome and totally turned my day around!
Just thought I'd share. Never underestimate the power of a simple note of encouragement!
xoxo,
Chrissi
As you all probably know by now, I am very pro-breastfeeding. Max is almost 14 months old and is still nursing. I'm no longer nursing him on-demand- stopped that around 12 1/2 months- but we still nurse first thing in the morning and for bedtime. It's a super special time and the bonding experience is something that can't be matched. Before I was a mom and for the first several months of Max's life, I thought nursing a toddler was a bit strange. But, low and behold, it works for us and it's something I'm not ready to give up. So, with that bit of information about our current lifestyle, I'll tell you this: I am a "member" of a well known breastfeeding website's Facebook private group where you can go on and ask questions about breastfeeding and get amazing support from other nursing moms around the country. So, lately, I've been wondering a lot about real benefits of extended breastfeeding and how it really impacts a child's health and social wellbeing. Thus, i logged onto that group's site today and asked the following question: "Is there any research or do any of you think that breastfed kids (breastfed past one year) are sweeter/more kind/friendlier/better behaved (you choose the word) than those who are not?". Honestly, I thought this was a very valid question and I've been wondering this for a while just because it's such a loving act. Well, the admins on the site shut down my thread about 10 minutes after I posted it and claimed that my question could start a firestorm among other members who choose formula (keep in mind this is a breastfeeding support group). I don't know why but this REALLY bothered me. I try SO HARD to not push my opinions or judgement on anyone who chooses not to breastfeed. I am by no means perfect at that, though. I already hate that moms are against one another on so many topics and I was so upset that I may have just offended a whole slew of people. Seriously, I worried ALL AFTERNOON about this. I even chose to leave that group because I felt like I had disappointed someone by asking that question. Now that I'm writing this, it seems a little silly that I got so upset but this site has helped me so much in the past and has been a nice area to talk about something so special to me. (keep in mind, I don't have a ton of friends up here to talk to... unfortunately, groups like this have to kind of suffice.... don't judge. haha).
Then, tonight, I got a message from a woman who is also a member of that group. She's an older woman whose children are all grown. She's a BF activist and has been since the 1970s (she's a self-proclaimed hippy). She sent me a simple message asking why my question got closed down and that prompted a great conversation that simply made me feel much better. She didn't provide an answer to my question or anything but just knowing that someone else thought the same thing I thought was really nice. It's really the little things in life that can make such a difference. Sometimes as a mom, you can feel so isolated in the decisions you make... especially when they aren't the most popular among your friends or family. So, to get a simple supportive message from a total stranger was pretty awesome and totally turned my day around!
Just thought I'd share. Never underestimate the power of a simple note of encouragement!
xoxo,
Chrissi
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Ummm, Spring? Where are you??
Hey y'all!
Hope everyone is doing well! Everything up here is just hunky dory. It's still friggin' freezing all the time and I'm SICK of it! This has been the longest winter of my life and I really don't understand why anyone would choose to live in any area of this country where it's so cold for so long. And, yes, I know, it could be worse. But, it's not worse right now, it's just cold and it just plain sucks. But, the bulbs are starting to pop through the dirt and I've actually seen a few daffodil blooms in the past day or two. FINALLY!
Other than old man winter outstaying his welcome, everything else is great. :) I have a few updates that have come to fruition since my last post. So, you know I mentioned that we'd be moving into a newer home, right? Well, we've made the decision to move into base housing. We're pretty excited about this decision because the houses are new construction and they're pretty big with nice garages and tons of storage. But, there's quite a long waiting list (5-7 months) so we're just waiting to hear when we will be moving. We have a bit of a hectic summer planned right now. So, in May, we're moving out of this house and putting all of our stuff into a storage unit. Then, Christian will drive me and Max down to Florida so we can stay down there while he is in Japan until the end of June. So, when Christian gets back in the States, he'll either stay in NJ and move into our new house (if we have one by then) or he'll fly back down to Florida to stay with us for a few days before we drive back. Then, if we still don't have a house, we'll move into these little furnished apartments on base at the temporary lodging facility until we actually get a house. So, needless to say, we're hoping for a house sooner rather than later.
I'm pretty excited about being in Pensacola for about a month and half! I've rented a little cottage in downtown Pcola for me and Max. Neither of my parents have two extra rooms so I'd be stuck in the same room as him if I stayed with them. I get zero sleep and he starts reverting back to sleeping like a newborn when he knows I'm RIGHT there. So, having our own little house will be perfect. Plus, it's only a short jog to the waterfront, restaurants, shops, etc. So, I'm pumped! Plus, I'm SOOOO excited to be around family and friends for that long during the best time of the year down there (early summer). Beach days, family time, dinners with friends... fun fun!
So anyway, my last post was right after Max turned one. Now, he's almost 13 1/2 months old and it blows my mind how quickly the months go by now. His first few months were just such a blur to me that I don't think I realized how quickly they went by but now that we've had that one year milestone, it seems like the days/weeks/months fly by! Max just gets more and more fun every day and he's so, so, so smart! I feel like Forrest Gump when he's standing at Jenny's grave and telling her (with tears in his eyes) how smart little Forrest is. Just watching my little boy grow and really understand me when I tell him to get his shoes (and he goes into the mudroom where all of our shoes are), or ask him where his milk is (and he goes to get his milk), or tell him to spit out his paci when we get out of the car (and he pulls it out), or ask him if he's ready for a bath (and he goes to the stairs).... or when he just all-of-a-sudden starts using sign language that I've been showing him for months and we can finally communicate when he's "all done" or when he wants more to eat. Seriously, this little boy amazes me every day. He knows what sound a doggie makes (bark) and what a tiger says (growl). He can point out a tractor, an airplane, a duckie, and a ball from the page of a picture book he has. He knows that candles, the fireplace and the stove are all hot (he holds out his hand like he's feeling the warmed the says "hot" in his own language so it sounds more like dot). He can say bubble, dada, tractor, duckie, ball, and says bir for bird. He's also obsessed with airplanes right now. Anytime he sees one, whether in the sky, in a book, or a toy plane, he makes the sound of an airplane flying and zooms his little hand around like he's holding an airplane. It's so cute. He's just amazing. And he's mine. And that's amazing.
One year ago, I was barely keeping my head above water in this ocean of responsibility called motherhood (I was closer to drowning than surviving). Now, I'm treading water and even doing the backstroke some days! haha Motherhood is still a hellavuh lot of work. But, it's something that is so, so special. I'm someone's mother. I'm going to be the person my kids are saying "Hi, Mom" to when they get caught on camera in the crowd outside of Good Morning America. I'm the person my son will (hopefully) always compare his girlfriends and wife to. I'm that woman who will be Max's first love. I'm the person who will get to face their tears after a failure and tell them everything will be OK. How special... and what an intense amount of responsibility that will follow me for the rest of my life. But, hey, I'm perfectly fine with that. :) Something cute I saw yesterday as I was just browsing a cute baby site was a quote that explained the haze of motherhood, it said, "living in a sweet, hazy blur of already but not yet". I feel like I'm in that sweet, hazy blur every day. I sit in amazement at how we've 'already' passed something and then I sit in wonderment of the things that are "not yet".
Well, enough with my deep, emotional chit chat. ;-) We're heading to western MD this weekend to visit Christian's family and celebrate Easter. My dad and step-mom sent Max the most adorable Easter outfit so I can't wait to show him off. haha I'll take a bunch of pics and post them ASAP!
Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful Easter weekend!
xoxo,
Chrissi
Hope everyone is doing well! Everything up here is just hunky dory. It's still friggin' freezing all the time and I'm SICK of it! This has been the longest winter of my life and I really don't understand why anyone would choose to live in any area of this country where it's so cold for so long. And, yes, I know, it could be worse. But, it's not worse right now, it's just cold and it just plain sucks. But, the bulbs are starting to pop through the dirt and I've actually seen a few daffodil blooms in the past day or two. FINALLY!
Other than old man winter outstaying his welcome, everything else is great. :) I have a few updates that have come to fruition since my last post. So, you know I mentioned that we'd be moving into a newer home, right? Well, we've made the decision to move into base housing. We're pretty excited about this decision because the houses are new construction and they're pretty big with nice garages and tons of storage. But, there's quite a long waiting list (5-7 months) so we're just waiting to hear when we will be moving. We have a bit of a hectic summer planned right now. So, in May, we're moving out of this house and putting all of our stuff into a storage unit. Then, Christian will drive me and Max down to Florida so we can stay down there while he is in Japan until the end of June. So, when Christian gets back in the States, he'll either stay in NJ and move into our new house (if we have one by then) or he'll fly back down to Florida to stay with us for a few days before we drive back. Then, if we still don't have a house, we'll move into these little furnished apartments on base at the temporary lodging facility until we actually get a house. So, needless to say, we're hoping for a house sooner rather than later.
I'm pretty excited about being in Pensacola for about a month and half! I've rented a little cottage in downtown Pcola for me and Max. Neither of my parents have two extra rooms so I'd be stuck in the same room as him if I stayed with them. I get zero sleep and he starts reverting back to sleeping like a newborn when he knows I'm RIGHT there. So, having our own little house will be perfect. Plus, it's only a short jog to the waterfront, restaurants, shops, etc. So, I'm pumped! Plus, I'm SOOOO excited to be around family and friends for that long during the best time of the year down there (early summer). Beach days, family time, dinners with friends... fun fun!
So anyway, my last post was right after Max turned one. Now, he's almost 13 1/2 months old and it blows my mind how quickly the months go by now. His first few months were just such a blur to me that I don't think I realized how quickly they went by but now that we've had that one year milestone, it seems like the days/weeks/months fly by! Max just gets more and more fun every day and he's so, so, so smart! I feel like Forrest Gump when he's standing at Jenny's grave and telling her (with tears in his eyes) how smart little Forrest is. Just watching my little boy grow and really understand me when I tell him to get his shoes (and he goes into the mudroom where all of our shoes are), or ask him where his milk is (and he goes to get his milk), or tell him to spit out his paci when we get out of the car (and he pulls it out), or ask him if he's ready for a bath (and he goes to the stairs).... or when he just all-of-a-sudden starts using sign language that I've been showing him for months and we can finally communicate when he's "all done" or when he wants more to eat. Seriously, this little boy amazes me every day. He knows what sound a doggie makes (bark) and what a tiger says (growl). He can point out a tractor, an airplane, a duckie, and a ball from the page of a picture book he has. He knows that candles, the fireplace and the stove are all hot (he holds out his hand like he's feeling the warmed the says "hot" in his own language so it sounds more like dot). He can say bubble, dada, tractor, duckie, ball, and says bir for bird. He's also obsessed with airplanes right now. Anytime he sees one, whether in the sky, in a book, or a toy plane, he makes the sound of an airplane flying and zooms his little hand around like he's holding an airplane. It's so cute. He's just amazing. And he's mine. And that's amazing.
One year ago, I was barely keeping my head above water in this ocean of responsibility called motherhood (I was closer to drowning than surviving). Now, I'm treading water and even doing the backstroke some days! haha Motherhood is still a hellavuh lot of work. But, it's something that is so, so special. I'm someone's mother. I'm going to be the person my kids are saying "Hi, Mom" to when they get caught on camera in the crowd outside of Good Morning America. I'm the person my son will (hopefully) always compare his girlfriends and wife to. I'm that woman who will be Max's first love. I'm the person who will get to face their tears after a failure and tell them everything will be OK. How special... and what an intense amount of responsibility that will follow me for the rest of my life. But, hey, I'm perfectly fine with that. :) Something cute I saw yesterday as I was just browsing a cute baby site was a quote that explained the haze of motherhood, it said, "living in a sweet, hazy blur of already but not yet". I feel like I'm in that sweet, hazy blur every day. I sit in amazement at how we've 'already' passed something and then I sit in wonderment of the things that are "not yet".
Well, enough with my deep, emotional chit chat. ;-) We're heading to western MD this weekend to visit Christian's family and celebrate Easter. My dad and step-mom sent Max the most adorable Easter outfit so I can't wait to show him off. haha I'll take a bunch of pics and post them ASAP!
Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful Easter weekend!
xoxo,
Chrissi
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