Since then, I've gotten the jobs that I really wanted, I've met the right people, I've done the right things. I've found good friends, I married an incredible man, I had beautiful, healthy children, we've lived in beautiful homes, I've traveled Europe and the United States. I've read a lot, learned a lot and researched a lot.
But, isn't it funny how no matter what you do, you never quite feel like you've gotten "there". I'm not even sure what "there" means to me. What did it mean to me 10 years ago or as a kid? Is it the perfect American life? Is it being married and having kids? Is it owning or building your own home? Is it selling everything and traveling the world? Is it helping others? Is it a relationship with your higher being? I think, for me, it's a combination of all of the above and it's never a destination of "there" but rather a life journey.
Turning 30 almost two years ago was such a breath of fresh air. It was almost a "coming into my own" kind of thing. My twenties were amazing. I partied hard, loved hard, traveled a lot, got married, moved to a totally new area of the country and had two precious babies. I wouldn't trade anything in my twenties. There's not a single thing I regret. Not an embarrassing night of drunkenness, not a friendship, not a love, not a breakup, not a move, not a choice, not a job... not one single regret. I may not have been overly thrilled with every moment, but when you take a step back and look at the totality of your life or the totality of a portion of your life, you can see how much those moments, choices, and people shape the person you are.
But, my thirties have been so free and open. There are a couple of things that I've really noticed in my thirties. I've noticed that I'm more cognizant of my health. Having babies can wear your body down. But, it can also make you realize how amazing your body is. What it's capable of and what you're capable of. Our bodies are works of absolutely stunning art and we should treat them that way. If there is a piece of art or furniture or an electronic in your home that you're taking better care of than your body, priorities need to be realigned. For me, this wasn't just about working out. I've always been in relatively good shape (minus the college party weight) but I needed something more. It was a whole body thing. It was working out, finding a tribe of women to encourage me, taking care of my skin, my hair, my nails, my teeth, my mind and so on and so forth. Having a baby while getting into this swing of things wasn't the easiest, especially since my babies don't really like to sleep through the night until they're at least one-year-old. But, all of those things have become a priority to me. I'm working out multiple times a week and most of the time, I have at least one great workout buddy with me that pushes me to go further than my body is telling me. I buy the good skincare products because my research tells me what's important at my age and I want to keep my skin looking vibrant and minimize the inevitable aging process. I keep my nails looking nice and most of the time I don't even pay anyone to do it. I got Invisalign because I've always been bothered by my teeth (even after having braces TWICE as a kid). And so on....
I've also noticed in my thirties that what people think about me just really doesn't matter. I don't have any "enemies" and I've never really had any drama (I hate that word) besides the standard high school stuff. But, the undo pressure we place on ourselves to live up to what others think about what we should do, how we should dress, what we feed our kids, what our house looks like, how we spend our money is just total b.s. Figuring this out takes some brutal honesty to yourself. Think about the things you consume your life with. Are those things you really want to be doing or are those things being done for the sake of someone or something else? We cannot live true authentic lives if we're living to meet a certain societal standard. Thinking this through and being mindful of the choices I make for myself, my kids, my family and my business has been life changing. If someone isn't paying your bills, managing your budget, raising your children, buying your groceries, etc, then they do not matter in terms of how you live your life. Now, don't go out and be an outright asshole. But, don't let other people's opinions of you dictate your life.
Grace. Oh man, the grace that I've learned about is just so beautiful. Whether you see grace as a Biblical teaching or just a way of life aside from religion, grace is just so, so, so important in our lives. The Merriam-Webster definition of grace starts off with a more biblical tone: the unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification. Other definitions include: approval, favor, mercy, pardon, an act of kindness, courtesy or clemency. Y'all life is all about grace. Grace will change. your. life. The more you give, the more you receive. Give grace to your husband who is driving you absolutely nuts because he doesn't "get it". Give grace to your kids who are making the most monstrous mess because they are playing and learning. Give grace to bad drivers on the road because they're lost or in a hurry. Give grace to that estranged family member because their communication style is so different from yours. Give grace to yourself. TO YOURSELF. Don't hold yourself to the ridiculous standards that other people have for you or that you think you need to be held to. Give yourself grace for being late, for staying in your pjs all day, for just needing a damn minute away, for wanting more, for wanting less, for IT ALL. Just picture a day with nothing but grace given. Grace is love. Love is grace.
Grace. Oh man, the grace that I've learned about is just so beautiful. Whether you see grace as a Biblical teaching or just a way of life aside from religion, grace is just so, so, so important in our lives. The Merriam-Webster definition of grace starts off with a more biblical tone: the unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification. Other definitions include: approval, favor, mercy, pardon, an act of kindness, courtesy or clemency. Y'all life is all about grace. Grace will change. your. life. The more you give, the more you receive. Give grace to your husband who is driving you absolutely nuts because he doesn't "get it". Give grace to your kids who are making the most monstrous mess because they are playing and learning. Give grace to bad drivers on the road because they're lost or in a hurry. Give grace to that estranged family member because their communication style is so different from yours. Give grace to yourself. TO YOURSELF. Don't hold yourself to the ridiculous standards that other people have for you or that you think you need to be held to. Give yourself grace for being late, for staying in your pjs all day, for just needing a damn minute away, for wanting more, for wanting less, for IT ALL. Just picture a day with nothing but grace given. Grace is love. Love is grace.
There's a beauty that comes with age. That beauty is skin deep and soul deep. The lines on my face show that I've been very expressive in my life and laughed and smiled a lot. The spots on my face show that I grew up out in the sunshine on the beautiful beaches in Florida. The aging of our bodies can been tough to swallow. I try to combat it every day with products and a good lifestyle. I also try to embrace the beauty in it. Then, aging gets deep down in your soul, too. The older you get, the more you learn. The more years you have under your belt means the more time you've had to soak in what this beautiful world of ours has to offer. Are you seeing the beauty of our world or are you spending it behind a computer screen working your life away? Is the work you're doing worth it? Is the money, title, office you're working towards worth it? Research shows that more money does not bring happiness. In fact, the "happiest" income for a family of four is $70,000 a year. Anything over that does not substantially raise your happiness levels. So, go explore. Find the beauty in things and places and people who you may not notice in your everyday walk through life. It deepens, broadens and opens your soul. And thus, more grace.
We have so many changes coming up in our family and it can be scary and I can choose to either morph into "Control Freak Chrissi" or relax a bit and become "Laissez Fair Chrissi". I'm a Gemini and truly have each of those versions of myself in me. I'd love to say that I'll take the second approach but I really never can tell until I'm faced with an impending change or challenge. Our lifestyle, our family time, the way we make money, how much we make, and our entire life is about to change in the next few months. The changes and challenges may age us but they also bring new depth and breadth to our story.
I can't wait to see how deep and wide that story gets throughout our lives. This is aging. It's beautiful.
