Hey y'all!
Well, it seems I can only get around to blogging about once a month now-a-days. Oh well, at least I still keep it somewhat recent…. :)
By the time I get around to even thinking about writing, all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch ridiculous trashy TV or go straight to bed! This new time change has me crawling into bed at about 8:30 every night and not feeling bad about that at all! haha Max did surprisingly well with the time change this year. He actually slept the extra hour and woke up at his normal 6 a.m. So, not too shabby. I, however, was up at 5 since I'm so programmed now and laid there for an hour waiting on Max to wake up. But, hey, I'll take it! I rarely get to just lay in bed.
As you may have seen from my Facebook posts, Max has become quite the handful in the last week or so. Shit really hit the fan when I had to attend a Halloween event put on by our squadron's Family Readiness Group (of which I'm the president!). Of course, since Christian's gone, Max went with me and I had to chase him around the entire time and ultimately wasn't able to participate in the event at all. That pissed me off and made me feel bad. He was running away from me all of the hangar and towards the flight line (which he's NOT allowed on b/c of security). Anytime I'd catch up to him to redirect him back over to the fun of the event, he'd pitch a royal fit and throw himself on the floor. That happened close to 20 times. So, I left an hour and half into the event and was just OVER IT! And, that behavior has continued. I know it's just a phase. I get that. But, that doesn't make it any easier when you are knee deep in said phase. Same with having a newborn. Like everyone says, "it gets easier", "it gets better"… of course it does. But, I just need someone to say "this blows" along with me while I struggle to avoid child services being called on me. hahaha
These "phases" of infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, teenage years, etc…. they all suck. They all make you want to scream and they make you feel like you're a horrible mother who has no idea what you're doing. When my sweet little Max switched into this little jerk, I wondered "what the heck did I do to make him like this?". Have I given him too much free reign in the past because I thought that was the best way for him to learn and now he's taking it too far? Am I just totally inept as a disciplinarian since NOTHING I do even phases him. If I slap his hand, he slaps his other hand himself. If I put him in timeout, he cries and cries and then the next time I threaten timeout, he casually walks to his timeout chair and sits there like it's no big deal. What?! Insanity. That's what it is…. pure insanity. I'll eventually figure it out.
But then, today, I feel like my Max is back. Even though he was at Ms. Dorie's (an awesome woman who watches him on Wednesdays) most of the day, I didn't deal with a single tantrum! Hallelujah! We even went to the park and did several other things that would usually warrant him to freak the eff out but nope, not today. He was compliant. I know everything will probably switch again tomorrow or the next day. But, I'm going to revel in the beauty of my amazing kid right now. He is amazing. Motherhood is amazing. It's the hardest job I've ever had and I love it. I would never want to be anything else more than being a mom. It's such a HUGE job. I mean, seriously, I'm responsible for molding a HUMAN BEING into the person he will ultimately be. That's mind-blowing. Seriously, a mother is the ultimate of all things on earth. I'm not tooting my own horn or anything but it really is. There is nothing as important in this world. Sorry if I offend someone who believes passionately in their profession but I don't know that anyone could understand my stance unless they are a mother. The patience it takes, the love it takes, the thought and compassion it takes… pure magic.
And, let me tell you something else that is pure magic. The women in my neighborhood, our squadron and this military community who do all of this alone usually with no family within driving distance. Their husbands are away serving this country and they're here to provide for their children, entertain them when it's raining on a Saturday, feed the pickiest eater, bathe the dirtiest fingers and toes, transport three kids to one's soccer game, rock the baby for hours at night b/c that the only way he'll sleep, kiss the tiny cheeks in the mornings, give big hugs after big falls, be the mom, be the dad, be the compassionate one, be the disciplinarian, teach the boys to pee standing up as best she can, help with the homework, comfort the sick, and the list goes on and on. This is a group, a community, a family that I am proud to be a part of. Christian has been gone at least 50% of the last three years. It's not easy. It's not fun. There's nothing glamorous about it. But, it's pretty amazing to know that I'm strong enough for this. And to be surrounded by other women who are just as strong (and many are MUCH stronger) is so, so special. I never in a million years could have imagined that I would love living on a military base and really being ingrained in the military lifestyle. But, here I am and it's pretty awesome.
We have two and half more weeks before Christian gets home from the Middle East. As soon as he gets back, we're flying straight down to Pensacola and I can't wait! I'm so excited for Thanksgiving with the family and for Max to play with cousins and friends! I'm excited to walk on the beach and to go to some of our favorite restaurants. Three and half more years before we're back for good! Retirement can't come soon enough! :)
Anyway, I hope all of y'all have a wonderful week and hopefully you have a long holiday weekend coming up (Veteran's Day).
xoxo,
Chrissi
